Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Never Harm Me
It’s a lie
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19–20, NIV)
I am guilty of doing the opposite of what this scripture tells me. Sometimes, my mouth quickly responds, yet my ears are impatient. I am ashamed that I have let the anger boil up inside me to erupt in a way that is anything but Christlike.
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (James 1:21, NIV)
We live in a day and age of profound rudeness. Many want their voices heard above everyone else. Some are impatient because waiting is inconvenient, and some self-absorbed people trample on the feelings of others, believing it is their right.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3–4, NIV)
If we take this scripture to heart, we might amend our ways.
Jesus ideally fits the criteria in James 1:19–20. He was slow to speak and quick to listen. He took the time to weigh His words. When the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, they asked Jesus, as told in (John 8:4–5, NLT) —
“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
Jesus knew that they were testing Him. He bent down and wrote in the sand. When He finally did speak, His words were monumental. (John 8:7, NLT)
All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!
This answer put the teachers of the law in their place by quieting their talk. One by one, they exited the scene.
The best example of being slow to answer was when Jesus stood before Pilate. The chief priests and elders were falsely accusing Jesus. He was tried and sentenced, yet said very little. He could have stopped them by His power, but He did not. He went as a willing lamb to the slaughter.
We can truly learn by Christ’s example. We must stop, listen, and speak thoughtful and helpful words. It would behoove us to step back, let our anger subside, and respond in controlled tones.
But how do we do this?
I have found that when we ask for these Christ-like attributes, God will help us. He will muzzle our mouths and unclog our ears. We may never be perfect, but God loves His children and is creating an image of Himself in us.
To listen is better.
Those who answer before they listen are foolish and disgraceful. (Proverbs 18:13, CEB)
Our words really do matter.
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:36–37, ESV)
I broke my wrist a few years ago. My wrist healed. However, words that wounded me stayed for years. They arise just when I feel low or insecure to haunt me. So the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me,” is a lie.
Unfortunately, I have been quick to speak, slow to listen, and let anger have its way. I am sure I have hurt others with my careless words. I know that God forgives me and will help me to change my ways. Until then, I am a work in progress.
There is one last thing we can do to help in our growth in Christ-likeness. We need to confess and pray for one another. So today, I confess my guilty lips and ears and ask for your prayers.
Prayer
Father, thank you for giving me ears that hear and a mouth that speaks but forgive me for using them in a way that harms instead of helps. Amen.
