What Exactly Are You Holding Onto?
Week 5 of Exodus 90
Guideposts for this week: Give Up Control, Check-In With Your Anchor, Reflect Back On Your Why, and Follow God.
Give up control
After 5 weeks of prayer, asceticism, and fraternity I have reached the tipping point of who I used to be and who I am called to be. This is Guidepost #1 — Give Up Control. I want so much to follow every single discipline: no alcohol, no sweets, commit to a daily holy hour, abstain from unnecessary computer/phone use, abstain from TV and sports, and other activities, but I am failing to check them all off. I want perfection. If I can't achieve perfection then I don’t want any of it. That is how the mind works. That is how the Devil works. He whispers into your ear, “Why try at all if you will fall short of His glory?”
20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin. 21 But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus — Romans 3
Control.
I give up on seeking perfection because through my self-driven concept of ‘success’ I thought I could control His love for me by checking off the disciplines…all of them! But this is fundamental to our faith in Jesus, that through constant prayer, lifelong prayer, He works on our behalf to help us whenever we fail. It is not through our power, nor our might, but through the Spirit saith the LORD.
Give up control and give God more!
Check-in with your anchor
In essence, and quite simply, you cannot do this alone! I have found support and insight in my anchor group. This support is even more useful when I check-in with them honestly and consistently. When something is ailing me, I check in with them, before starting this blog, I checked in with them, when I feel that I am hitting a plateau, I check in with them. Why? Because God does not only communicate with us via prayer or in the chapel, but also through every living thing in this world.
“For God does speak — now one way, now another — though no one perceives it” (Job 33:14).
Reflect back on your why
Isn’t so perplexing that when we find ourselves going the wrong way, we just keep going? The COVID-19 pandemic served as a catalyst for diving deeper into my faith, into my commitment to Jesus. It uprooted every single sector of life. If you were not going the right way, in your life, it became clear as day. The good habits were great to have when the pandemic began but the bad habits seemed fatal, quite literally. That is why we must routinely reflect back on your why.
Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one — the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. — Screwtape Letters; C.S. Lewis
It is OK to stop. Pause. Admit a mistake. Turn around. And begin anew. This is why the Bible exists so that we may never be able to say that we do not know which way to go. We go His way and no other way.
Follow God
Prayer. It is the greatest tool in your toolkit. You can use it anywhere. It does not spoil. It only gets sharper the more you use it. But you have to use it!
To follow God you must know Him. To know Him is to commit to prayer. At least 20 minutes a day in silent contemplation of Him and His ways of being. And the things that inhibit you from doing this, the addictions, are literally the very things you are called to remove. The equation is very simple.
Follow God.
Amen †
