*Who is Bullying YOU?
You Might Be Surprised!
Often, when we think about bullying, we think about children scuffling on the playground and yet bullying goes far beyond that scenario.
My definition of bullying is when one person, no matter how old, tries to assert their will over and above yours. It’s a form of aggression which causes discomfort or injury. That injury could be physical but may include psychological and emotional injury.
Scripture admonishes us:
“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
What if you can’t live at peace with someone?
Sometimes we cannot live at peace with some people. For example:
In the home
Perhaps a husband or wife is the bully. They must always have their way, their choices, their preferences and, if not, the spouse will ‘pay’ for it. Maybe there will even be the silent treatment. That’s bullying!
Maybe there is a toddler who throws tantrums at home or in the stores, who screams until he or she has their way. That’s bullying!
Even a teenager can be a bully in their own home as they talk back, slam doors or disobey the rules laid down by the parents. It’s ugly, especially when their body grows bigger than the parents’ bodies. That’s bullying!
In the workplace
Co-workers, instead of working as a team, may form a clique, shutting one or a few out of any team building. That’s bullying!
The boss could be a real tyrant to all those ‘under’ him, making sure they know it. That’s bullying.
Being asked to consistently work over-time or blowing up your phone 24–7. That’s bullying.
In your neighborhood
A neighbor who keeps their eye out for the least bit of a flaw in your gardening or lawn care habits may make your out-of-door times in your yard be filled with trepidation and stress as you never know what fault they will find next. That’s bullying!
Is there a ‘gang’ of kids hanging around, looking for and finding trouble?
Is there such noise pollution that you can’t enjoy bird songs?
Think about it….
Some bullying is blatant, right out there, hard to miss. Other bullying is more subtle.
We need to recognize bullying!
We have our choices in how we react:
Turn the other cheek
According to Jesus’ teaching: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth [punishment that fits the offense].’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person [who insults you or violates your rights]; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other toward him also [simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses and do not bother to retaliate — maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise]. Matthew 5:28–29 AMP
We saw Him do that, right up to and including his death on the cross.
Sometimes we need to react like that!
Call a halt to the bullying
We did see Jesus, however, react DIFFERENTLY sometimes, too.
For example: “He did NOT turn the other cheek when he noticed the sinful activity in the temple.
Jesus entered the temple [grounds] and drove out [with force] all who were buying and selling [birds and animals for sacrifice] in the temple area, and He turned over the tables of the moneychangers [who made a profit exchanging foreign money for temple coinage] and the chairs of those who were selling doves [for sacrifice].” Matthew 21:12 AMP
I would NOT like to be on the receiving end of that!
When else do you see God’s anger?
Here are some examples:
The flood in Noah’s day due to the wickedness of the people?
Goliath, a big bully to Israel, being killed by a shepherd boy?
The walls of Jericho crumbling?
Walk away
Another example of Jesus’ response to bullies is when the people wanted to throw him off a cliff:
The people in the synagogue were filled with a great rage; 29 and they got up and drove Him out of the city, and led Him to the crest of the hill on which their city had been built, in order to hurl Him down the cliff. 30 But passing [miraculously] through the crowd, He went on His way. Luke 4:29–30 AMP
Dwell on God’s Word
One more powerful example — when Jesus was being tempted by satan, He used God’s Word to defeat him. See Luke 4:1–13. Please read.
What Happened to Me:
When I was a child, a group of boys asked to borrow my basketball. When they finished, to return the ball, one of the boys bounced it off the top of my head, chipping my tooth. I didn’t hear a ‘thank you’. I let any hurt and anger dissipate since they were bigger than I was and I’d probably never see them again. I chose to ‘turn the other cheek’.
The man I married bullied me from the early days onward, dumping trash on the floor if he didn’t like something I’d said, giving me the silent treatment when…. After 35 years of loving and turning the other cheek, I’d had enough, set a boundary to his behavior (finally) and he ran. I chose to say call a halt and said, ‘Enough!’
My teenager began to rebel while still living at home. Rules were set up with consequences if they were not obeyed. Then I stuck to it. I chose to call a halt and stand firm, knowing that scripture said that we are to train up a child in the way he or she should go.
Working as the office manager for a newspaper, two co-workers would bully everyone else in the office, setting themselves up to be feared. As much as I hated to, I walked out the door, never to return, much to their surprise. The Lord showed me that I was good at sticking to things but I was NOT good at walking away. I walked away!
Being a library clerk, I watched the Director mistreat various other workers. Then it was my turn…. I gave my two weeks notice and left, as she turned her ire on me. I wrote a letter to the library board detailing the toxic environment that had been going on for years there. I called a halt and walked away while expressing my displeasure with the situation to those in authority.
Working at a design company, my position was closed due to the boss’ mismanagement. I had lost a job I loved. When my two weeks were completed, I walked out the door, shaking the dust off my shoes, head held high.
As you can see, each situation I faced had a different outcome based on God’s direction.
May all YOUR days be filled with PEACE!
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Dawn Ulmer, a retired Registered Nurse, has enjoyed writing since the age of 19 when she wrote ‘My Philosophy of Nursing’. After marrying and becoming a mother, she developed a newsletter for young mothers called ‘Moms and Sidekicks’. She has been a columnist for a women’s newspaper in Grand Rapids, Michigan on the subject of time management. From that column, her first book was written and published: “Balance of the Hurried Woman”. Through the years, she has been published in ‘Decision’ magazine, ‘Our Daily Bread’ devotional and other publications. Presently, she is enjoying writing on Medium, her favorite platform.
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