Why Is It So Hard To Find Close Friends?
I grew up in a town of 100 people. I attended a very small school. For the most part, I had the same classmates for all eight years of grade school.
Having a best friend was easy because I spent so much time with the same people. All I had to do was find someone who liked to do the same things at recess. This way I’d always have a partner to ride the merry-go-round, teeter-totter, or swings.
When I was in the 4th grade, my best friend was a sweet girl named Becky. We’d write notes to each other in class and always sign “Best Friends Forever” or “BFF.”
Becky held this title until she became one of the prettiest girls and then spending time with boys became a higher priority.
Choose your friends wisely.
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NASB 1995)
It’s important our close friends need to share a Biblical worldview.
Allowing someone in your inner circle who does not share your Christian life is never a wise choice.
If it was so easy as kids, why is it so hard as grown-ups?
Adults come with a lot of baggage and high expectations.
Let’s face it, we all have issues. They can include past hurts, fears, or lack of trust.
In my opinion, you need to be the kind of friend you are looking for.
1. Be a good listener.
Give your full attention with good eye contact. Don’t include an unsolicited opinion.
2. Care about your friend.
Take time to get to know what is important to them.
3. Offer kindness.
Offer to babysit for a special night. Surprise them with their favorite drink or snack. It’s the little things.
4. Be trustworthy.
If they confide in you, keep their information confidential.
5. Be courteous.
This is not always obvious. Remember to say “please” when requesting and “thank you” when receiving. Do not take a friend for granted.
6. Be an encourager.
Lift this person up, not tear them down or dismiss their concerns. Give compliments freely.
7. Keep in touch.
Make an effort to touch base (texting, calling, emailing) with them consistently. Don’t disappear for long periods of time.
8. Stick by your friend.
If they are going through a rough time, make sure they know you are there for them. Be loyal to your friendship.
9. Keep your word.
If you say you’re going to do something, follow through. This goes a long way.
10. Admit when you are wrong.
Never be hesitant to say “I’m sorry.” We are all imperfect people who don’t always handle things the best way. Forgive easily.
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NASB 1995)
Finding a real friend is a treasure worth keeping! Like any relationship, it takes work, but it is worth it!
