Crasskitty is a partnered Twitch broadcaster who has been streaming since 2014. She got her Twitch partnership at the end of January. Crass has been a willing test subject for all of Muxy’s experimental new features.
This interview has been edited for length.
When did you start streaming?
September 2014, I guess? I dunno. I was on somebody else’s stream in August of 2014. Mew2king and SmashStudios. And that’s how — my first stream, I started off and I had I think 20 or 40 viewers, playing Euro Truck Simulator. It was very good.
Is that what got you into Twitch?
Honestly the guy I’d been dating kept pressuring me. And was like, “you should be a streamer, you’d be really good at this.” And when I first encountered Twitch I thought it was really dumb. I thought it was really stupid and that people who watched Twitch were really dumb and that the idea of Twitch was just really dumb. But the more I went to his house the more I realized, this is actually okay, this is pretty cool.
I wasn’t part of any communities when I started. I watched Anthony Kongphan and Lirik and, you know, I watched a couple people because he watched them. But I didn’t watch anybody on my own time. And then I went to my friend’s house in Dallas and they had mew2king over, for some reason, and SmashStudios and D1 and they were all streaming and they pulled me on their stream. And I remember the stream told me that I was a “grill” and I didn’t get the joke, so I decided to make my hands into a hamburger because I thought that they were talking about a literal grill, and I didn’t know what it meant. [laughs] And I started off my first stream with 200 followers and, you know, 20 or 40 viewers.
Streamers are just as lonely as everybody else watching.
So how has your stream evolved since then?
Holy crap. Well, we used to do this really cringey thing where I made these handmade cat ears and I put them on my chair. [laughs] And I thought that would be a good substitute for the DX Racer cat ears sort of thing? But it looked really, really cringey. [laughs] And looking back I’m very ashamed.
I used to do donation dances? Which is when anybody donated, no matter how much, I would get up and do a goofy white girl dance. Except for one time I was wearing a really short dress — this was the end of donation dances — I was wearing a really short dress and I didn’t realize how short it was. And I was wearing underwear, okay? Let me just clarify. They were nude, though. And so, you know, it didn’t work out in my favor. Everybody kept donating for an hour straight to make me do dances. And it was like a dollar donation every time so it ended up being only like $60. But they kept donating to see me dance and I didn’t know why and I was cool with it because I love donations. And yeah…
I used to think that I would just be instantly famous on Twitch and that I was just gonna make it big, and in reality I’ve now come to realize that I don’t care how much money I make on Twitch. It’s about so much more than that. It’s about the community and the fact that there are people out there who need me, and for the first time in my life I’m needed. And that is a beautiful feeling.
Do you know about how much time you spend on streaming and stream-related work outside of your stream every week?
Past week I went to PAX, so it didn’t really count because this past week has been recovery. But I’d say that before that it was anywhere from 50 to 70 hours a week.
So let’s talk about your community management. You hardly have any deleted messages in your chat, which is crazy.
So I have this rule that I live by, and it’s to educate instead of discipline. So when people do stupid crap in my chat I tend to make a joke or make a meme or respond in turn. People come in and say really mean things. Okay, yesterday I was streaming and someone said, “how are you a model when your arms have so much flab?” And I literally decided to educate them on modeling poses to hide arm flab.
I understand, you know, on camera everything looks a little heavier and I don’t work out a lot, you know? So it worked out. I just showed him some poses and he didn’t talk again, and we didn’t have to ban him.
The biggest thing about Twitch chat that I’ve realized is there’s a lot of people who want to be part of a community, but they honestly don’t have the ability. They don’t know how to make themselves known into a community when first entering in a way that makes them feel like they’re welcome. And so they resort to trolling. Because it’s the only thing that can get them the attention and validation that they’re wanting from a community. They see other people recognize mods and recognize members of the community, who when they come in the streamer is like “oh, hi, how are you?” and they recognize them, you know, they want that recognition but they don’t know how to get it. So they troll. That’s what I honestly think a lot of the trolling really is, is that these are really lonely people and — I would like to say, for the record: streamers are just as lonely as everybody else watching. And I think that’s a beautiful thing about Twitch, is that we all come together and we all are lonely and this is the one place in the world where we can all have a community based on the things that we value.
We have somebody, actually. I don’t know if he wants to be named but i’m going to go ahead and name him. His name is merah and I don’t think he realized for a long time that he was a part of the community. Because it wasn’t until one day when I was like — we were talking about people who could help you learn Elite Dangerous and I said, “well, merah is a great person to learn from” and merah said, “what? I’m just a troll in your chat.” And I said, “No, you come in and you troll, but you’re never cruel, you’re never mean, you just make jokes. And I know you may feel like an outsider for that but to me you’re just as an essential part of this community as anybody else, you know?” And I think at that moment — he comes into almost every stream, he’s there all the time and I’ve given him a place where he feels welcomed and loved and accepted. That is my goal with Twitch, is to take all those lonely people. Because we’re all fucking lonely. We’re all lonely as hell. That’s why we’re here, that’s why we’re on the internet in the first place. And why should I take people who are striving to get that attention and make them feel unwelcome when I could just educate them a little bit and explain to them, “hey, you can troll, just don’t troll in this particular way”.
If it hadn’t been for Twitch and if it hadn’t been for my community, I probably wouldn’t be here.
Loneliness has been a big theme in this whole thing.
So when I started streaming, like a week after my first stream the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life happened. And I hated myself. I was lonely as hell, I was self deprecating, I would lay in bed for days at a time thinking that I was less than human. And my chat slowly but steadily — like every time I streamed, even in this depression, when I was streaming it was the only time I felt alive. It was the only time I felt like I’m not alone. People get me. I can be — I can still be the strong, confident woman that I want to be, even if off camera I’m a mess. When I’m here with them they give me the motivation, they give me the drive, they give me the urge.
It was as if in reality I was a completely broken shell of a person. But the minute that I turned on that web cam I had, you know, people watching. And I didn’t want to let these people down. I wanted to show them that I was a happy, beautiful, loving, excitable person. So I had to put that show on for them. Even if it was just for a couple hours, I got to feel like a human being again. There are so many moments where I realize that if it hadn’t been for Twitch and if it hadn’t been for my community, I probably wouldn’t be here. I would have probably gone down a long, different road if not completely had no road at all. They gave me a place where I felt accepted and loved and like I was worth something. So it is my mission and my goal in life to give everybody else who is searching for that a place like that in my chat. And a place like that in my community. They are more my friends than any friends I’ve ever had, they are more my family than any family I’ve ever had. They are with me every day through the highs and the lows, through the stupid interpretive art painting streams to the very intense gaming streams. They’re there. And all I want to do is make these people realize they are just as important. They are just as loved. They are just as accepted. And that is what this community is about. And that’s why you don’t see a lot of bannings, is because we would rather envelop you with love and welcome and grace and adoration and a little bit of crass sprinkled in than hate you for anything. Because I think all of us in my community know what it feels like to be hated. And all of us in my community know what it feels like to be lonely. And I don’t know a single streamer that I’ve ever talked to who hasn’t said that they’re lonely when they’re not at conventions or they’re lonely when they’re not streaming. We’re all lonely people. And we may seem bigger than life to you, we may seem like we’re vivacious and full of love and charisma, but in reality it’s so hard to find people who accept us and love us the way Twitch chat does, and the way that our communities do. We search in life for that same acceptance and we can never find it anywhere else.
I’ve seen you grow so much since I met you, and I met you around the time you started streaming. And you’ve grown so much and changed so much. Would you attribute most of that to Twitch?
I would attribute that to a couple things. I would attribute a great deal of growing to Twitch because you watch your broadcast, right? So the best thing I can say, if you’re learning how to stream, or you’re starting your stream, or you’re maybe at the middling point where you feel like you’re on the brink of something good with your stream, start watching your past broadcasts. Or whenever you’re feeling down about your stream, I should say. Whenever you feel like you shouldn’t be doing this, watch your past broadcasts and then watch your most recent broadcast. And you’ll just be like “holy crap man, I am a totally different person right now, I have grown so much, I got rid of those stupid cat ears, you know? I’m an adult now.” And it’s not just that. Twitch has taught me so much about acceptance.
Okay, this is a weird way, I think, to interpret it? But like I said, when I first started Twitch I thought “I’m gonna be instantly famous.” And the journey that came with this gave me such a big perspective. I went from having fame as a goal and I went from having money as a goal to now — I mean, I always wanted to be a light in people’s lives, but I also always wanted to be rich and I also always wanted people to know my name. I am a narcissist, through and through, and these two things make me very happy. But now I realize if a million people knew my name, but they didn’t know what I stand for, I wouldn’t care. Versus if a couple thousand people know my name and they all know what I’m striving to achieve and they’re all right there with me and they’re all striving to achieve it with me? That is worth more than any amount of money I could ever get. That is worth so much more to me. Because it means that I have a community. And it means that I’ve given people a place where they feel they can have a purpose and acceptance and love.
What’s your advice for newer streamers? If someone is just starting out, what would you say to them? If they’re like “what can I do to make my stream good?”
Find something that allows you to put yourself in the mental place you want to be in for streaming. Whether that’s a song, whether it’s listening to a certain podcast, whether it’s listening to a recording of yourself telling yourself how to be — I mean it’s kind of like method acting, I guess? You need to find something that puts you into the place that you want to be in and learn what it is. Only play games that make you happy, because if you’re not enjoying yourself your viewers won’t enjoy themselves. Focus on your community instead of yourself. And shameless plug here? Sign up for Stream Academy. Because if I had all of the knowledge when I started streaming a year and a half ago that I got from Stream Academy? Holy shit, this stream would be amazing.
What’s the one piece of hardware that can improve a new streamer’s stream the most?
A second monitor. I don’t care if it’s your old TV, I don’t care if it’s a tablet, I don’t care if it’s anything, have something else to read chat on. And to have OBS on or XSplit on and to have your live feed for alerts on. Because, holy balls, it is so important to have all of those things and to know when alerts are coming through. I saw a streamer today who got a donation and read it as it came on the screen? And it cut off, like it ended before they could finish it and I was like “whoa dude, why don’t you have a live feed?” Look at a live feed, you shouldn’t be reading it off the screen. Nothing against that streamer, I don’t think they know, but that second monitor will literally improve your stream so much. And train yourself to look over at it every 30 seconds.
How do you want to influence the world?
I want you to know this: Your user ID at Muxy is 3. You’re the first actual account, though. You’ve also been the first streamer to see any of our new features.
Oh, yeah. Muxy got me partnered, dude.
So I was in a lull and I didn’t know what game to play, so Muxy told me the top 15 games my viewers were watching. And I looked through them, and a lot of them were dumb like CS:GO, no offense CS:GO players, or League of Legends, which is the top stuff on Twitch. But then I saw something very interesting. I saw a game that I’d never seen in the top slots at Twitch, but it was the number seven top game for my viewers or my followers. And it was Elite Dangerous. I started playing Elite Dangerous, my viewership went from twenties to thirties to hundred fifties, three hundreds. In less than two weeks. But yeah, Muxy gave me that data. So every time I’m in a lull I ask Muxy — and they’re about to release this as a feature, but you know part of the perks of being the 3rd user on Muxy is that I get to ask them to give me data that hasn’t been released to the public yet. So yeah, that was really interesting to me.
The other thing that also helped was I asked for who else my viewers are watching. And when they told me I took the 10 streamers that were being watched the most and I changed my time schedule to not conflict with theirs. So instead of competing with the top 10 people my viewers were watching I gave them another time to watch. Not only that, Muxy told me that per viewer per game Elite Dangerous was one of the top ranking donation games on Twitch. Which made no sense, except for the fact that if you look at the — and this is something you should be aware of as a streamer: Research your target audience for the game you’re playing. In Ark the target audience age is about, I would say, 11 years old to maybe 20 years old. Eleven year olds to 20 years olds don’t typically have jobs, incomes. And this is the calculating business part of streaming. And I’m not afraid to admit this, I’ve talked about this on my stream. The typical age for space sim games like Elite Dangerous or Star Citizen are people who are 25 to 45, people with jobs, incomes, careers. As a streamer, if you are trying to make a living off of this, play whatever’s fun, enjoy your game, but remember who your audience is and how old they are and cultivate your stream to that.
Is there anything else you want to say?
This is a business. You can stream as a hobby, but I don’t. I stream as my full-time job, I stream as my passion, I stream as my career. And I treat it as such. Always strive to improve yourself, always look at your markets, look at the numbers, look at the data. Look at data on anything you can, on anything you’re doing. Your game, your times, all of that. Think about your target audience. That comes from my marketing days, but think about who you want to be watching you, who you want to be subscribing to you. Who do you want to be following you. And then cultivate your image to fit that. And remember more than anything that the content cannot be created unless you are truly in the zone. Which zone, you may ask? The danger zone. [laughs] No, really, actually just stay positive and remember that the internet is full of people who are hateful and lonely and you don’t have to let that hurt you. You know, you’re an influencer. How do you want to influence the world? For me it’s like… I want to make people happy. So I do.
