V.M. Part 3 | 965

My Author Journey, Friday, July 28, 2017

# 965 (countdown)

Vivian Maier-ish selfie #3.

Vivian Maier is my favourite photographer.

A photographer shoots photos every day. She did.

A photographer sees a lot. She did.

A photographer has her/ his own unique perspective. She had.

She was a photographer.

I am a photographer. A photographer and a writer.

I am also a clown. A buffoon. No day passes by without me and my 10 year old son coming up with new jokes and sketches. We use satire, parody and absurdity without having studied any of them. We just do it. We do it because A/ we enjoy it and B/ it’s a 100% match — we instantaneously get it.

I think that’s one of the main reasons I wasn’t suited to be a lawyer, character wise. Lawyers act too. But they usually aim at being dead serious and formal in their expensive suits. At all times trying to impress their clients with how they look and speak (using their ambiguous language with lots of latin words). At all times trying to appear bigger and smarter than they actually are in order to intimidate or impress their fellow lawyers.

And I was part of this culture each day for so many years! Ugh! This side of being a lawyer (and make no mistake — it is a huge part of being one) made me wanna puke each day. It stood in stark contrast to who I was. In order for me to function well in this environment I needed to try to be the exact opposite of who I was (am).

But I definitely was a lawyer back in those days. Each day I did what lawyers do. The fact that it made me wanna puke each day didn’t matter. I was a lawyer.

I was a lawyer who, deep inside, didn’t want to be a lawyer. A born artist meets buffoon. Anything but a born lawyer.

And because according to the standards of the society I was supposed to be a successful young person (with college education, working in a practical and ideally prestigious profession, behaving like a normal adult) I couldn’t have been who I naturally was. In order to satisfy the expectations of the society I needed to adjust, give up my true nature.

Ever since I reached the age of maturity everyone always told me Now you need to behave and think like an adult. Now you need to start being serious. Now you need to stop being a buffoon. Now you need a serious, “practical” and prestigious career. Now the fun is over.

And when I finally became a lawyer everyone always told me Now you need to act like a lawyer.

That’s why I love the approach to life Vivian Maier had. From what I learned about her she didn’t care about all those societal expectations. She took her photos and worked as a nanny. She didn’t ask whether she was good enough to start. She wasn’t crippled by doubts whether or not it made sense to shoot those photos. She didn’t care about other people’s opinions about her photos, nor did she seek recognition from people. And she didn’t care whether or not her photos will make her famous one day. Each day she shot photos to the best of her ability applying her unique perspective.

It’s been a little bit over a month since I started shooting photos daily inspired by the example of Vivian Maier. Today I realized that I notice more. I’m even more attentive to the things around me. I approach it the way Vivian Maier did.

Progress on my second book. Zero editing.

My today’s answers on Quora:

Answer to How many people can choose the right career at the age of 17?

Answer to Is it worth risking our current job to do what we really want?

Music for this writing session: Annie (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) (on spotify).