Fighting for condoms

In our contemporary world, we are all aware to some extent that we should be using some form of contraception. In Greece, boys usually carry the condoms. They often deny to put them on, cause it doesn't feel as good , they can’t come etc, but usually they will take them with and put them on. Here in America though for different reasons such as limited sex education, men don’t carry condoms and have a really hard time putting them on. The thing is that condoms are not here just for avoiding pregnancies. Condoms are here for all those nasty sicknesses and viruses that are carried around with sex.

Anyway guys in New York, apparently don’t give a damn about this shit. A friend of mine has also been a victim of guys who wear the condom and then take it off during sex. Men will tell you stories about how they have fucked over a 100 women and then when the time comes to put a condom , they will start mumbling bullshit of all sorts:

Who me ? Why put on a condom ? Ok if you really want it whatever… I do STD tests all the time though. I am like super healthy. I even workout. And it really feels so much better.

1. They don’t really carry any condom with them

2.When the time comes they will be very indifferent about a condom

3.They will try to get inside you without a condom

4.When you send them out for the condom run they will still try a bit more.

This is how I basically started grabbing free condoms from my school’s health center and bars and stocking them next to my bed. I can definitely make sure that the gentlemen will put on their hats before coming in when they come to my place but when I go to theirs I have to live in doubt. The amount of manipulation that goes into the process of having sex bareback in the U.S is insane.

So today i am going to tell you the story of that time, a guy convinced me to have unprotected sex with him by calling me a racist. And the funny thing is that I was convinced.

It was a stressful day in the library, the kind of day that you were just sweatpants and your greasy hair and are trying to finish a paper. It was early November and it had just started to get colder. I was procrastinating on Tinder while trying to decide what to do with my paper, aimlessly swiping right and left. And then he messaged me and asked me to meet him for a beer. The library was closing and the place he suggested was just a 5 min walk from the school so I decided that a drink might be a good idea just to blow off some steam. Used to other tinder dates I imagined he would buy me a drink or two and if things wouldn't work out I could go home and grab dinner. None of those things happened.

He met me right outside of the campus. He looked pretty nice despite the fact that he had completely shaved his head to hide the fact that he was balding. He was super confident and extremely smart. We grabbed our drinks and headed outside for a smoke. We talked about really interesting and unusual dating subjects like what museums we liked the most and my theory on how Americans are really arrogant and stupid due to the lack of basic education about the world outside the United States. We also had long talks on race, society and politics. I was already pretty excited and on my second drink when he grabbed my leg. Then he analyzed me his theory that you have to touch someone three times before you kiss them. He touched me twice more and he kissed me. I was really amazed by his wit and character. He was pretty social too so he bought two drinks to the lesbian couple sitting across the bar watching their team lose on american football ion TV. They bought us drinks back. We talked about the refugee crisis, Greece and Trump. We kissed some more and had some more cigarettes. After 3 hours we went to my place and we had the best sex ever. With a condom. We spend the night making love and talking. The next day i called work in sick and stayed with him in bed. Talked more , had more sex, he went to pick up some more condoms. We talked about our favorite writers and our artistic projects. It was my best date ever. And then around 2pm he left to go to work. I promised him we would definitely meet again.

Then the texting game began. By texting game, I mean this process that you wait till he texts you and get super excited when he does, then text him back and wait for his answer but then he doesn't respond so you think he died or doesn't like you and feel heartbroken. The second date kept on getting postponed for ages. But in the end, after 2 weeks and countless conversations we decided to meet at that same bar. I was already kinda mad at him for leaving me hanging for so long but that first date was so good I really wanted more. I put on my sexiest outfit and went to meet him, with an attitude of being kinda frustrated for his behavior. He immediately calmed me by offering me drinks and then we sort of started hanging out with the guy that was sitting next to us at the bar. I was sort of annoyed but i didn't let it show. He was behaving like we were a couple since years ago, mentioning how he would leave Trumpist america and come live with me in Greece and how he has a greek girlfriend as an escape strategy. The thing is I was not really his girlfriend, but I was flattered in the idea. Then we went to another bar with our new friend to grab some food as well. An hour later we abandoned the guy and went back to my place. And that’s where the condom fight started.

I gave him a blowjob without a condom and he seemed pretty happy about that. But then he started denying to put on for us to have regular intercourse.

We already had oral sex so whatever stds we have we have already gotten them. Plus I had an STD test like last week, he said.

I obviously got upset and started explaining to him that i am not on the pill and I am nowhere ready to start having babies of whatever shape or form. He started talking about abortions. I told him this is not in the cards for me ever. He got really upset cause he thought I am against abortions. I tried to explain that this is my body and I get to choose what to do with it and I support abortions as a right that women have but it is not something I personally would like to experience. He stopped talking to me for a while cause he was mad.

Then we started making out again. Whenever the time would come for him to put on a condom he would deny. We would stop. Then we would start making out again. And this will continue on, a martyrical making out experience. And at some point he said it:

It is so unfair cause you were having sex without a condom with your ex who was white and now you don’t want to have sex without a condom with me cause I am black. That’s your problem.

His statement was so irrational i didn't really know what to say or how to explain to him that I was with my ex for two years and I was on the pill and we had both been std tested before and maybe if I stayed with him longer and we did all those things I would have no problem to share this experience with him too. His statement implied that i was racist but all I was trying to be was safe. Unfortunately though, after all the beers we had I was not really sane anymore so in the third attempt, he got inside me without the condom. Then we continue without for the rest of the night. He came on my sheets which was kinda nasty. The next morning he texted me that he wants to stay friends. And I was left with the fear of Aids and STDs. As soon as possible I visited the doctors and did all relevant examinations to ensure my health. I am so grateful that i didn't get anything from him or any other random gentlemen I have encountered.

But I will always remember and strongly believe that sex which I always love to practice has to be safe, sane and consensual. And anyone who does not respect my limits and boundaries is an asshole and definitely does not deserve to be inside me. I might have fallen for the trick once , but I have learned from my mistakes. Never again.