Let’s talk about… Adult Naming Ceremonies!

As a Humanist Celebrant, there are certain conversations that you have on a regular basis — some of which, I’m sure you can guess.

“What’s a humanist?” (Find out more about that one at humanism.org.uk)

“Are you in a cult?” (Um, no I’m not, but thanks for asking)

“What’s a naming ceremony? Is it like a christening?”

Let’s tackle that last one, shall we?

For some people, a humanist naming ceremony can be quite similar to a christening, just without God (and usually without splashing any babies with water). As non-religious people, humanists still want to mark the important moments in their lives, and naming a new child certainly fits into that category. Like it or not, the religious traditions seen in christenings are definitely a big influence on people’s expectations of a child’s naming ceremony.

A baby or child’s naming ceremony will often include some traditions like assigning people to help raise the child; symbolic rituals such as sand blendings; and readings and declarations from the child’s parents, family and friends.

Baby and child naming ceremonies are lovely. I can’t stress enough how wonderful it is to officially welcome a child into the world with a naming ceremony.

It surprises a lot of people that I speak to that naming ceremonies don’t start and end with childhood. Adult naming ceremonies can be a beautiful, life-affirming way to mark an important event in our lives.

Adults change their names for all kinds of reasons, but rarely is it something that we gather together to celebrate. I’m here to say that this should change!

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios.

Trans naming ceremonies

After going through the difficult process of transitioning, and officially coming out to the world with a new gender, name and identity, a trans person may want to take the step of arranging an adult naming ceremony for themselves.

Bringing together the family and friends who have supported you through the transition process to celebrate this important step in your life can be a life-affirming experience, and help you to feel supported and loved at this critical time.

Name change ceremonies

There are plenty of reasons to change your name as an adult. Just in my circle of friends, I know of people who have changed their names for lots of different reasons:

• because they got married
• because they got divorced
• to match their children’s surnames
• to create a new surname together with their partner
• to distance themselves from an abusive parent
• because they were fed up of having the same name as a celebrity
• because they had never liked the name they were given at birth

Whatever reason you have for changing your name, it’s important to know — it was ultimately your decision, and it is a valid decision. If you feel like you want to celebrate this new chapter in your life, or just to announce your new identity to your nearest and dearest, why not consider an adult naming ceremony? Making the effort to officially change your name is an act of self-care — celebrating this with the people that you care about can be another positive step to take on your life’s journey.

Who will come to my adult naming ceremony?

As a celebrant, I’ve noticed something about naming ceremonies, compared to the others of the “big three” types of ceremonies.

Weddings are about romantic love.

Funerals are about grief.

But naming ceremonies are about friendship and community.

I see it time and time again when planning a baby or child naming ceremony. The family think that the ceremony is about the child, but as we go through the process of creating the ceremony together, it becomes clear that it is a chance to officially recognise their support network, and to celebrate all the people who have had a positive impact on their lives.

A naming ceremony is an opportunity to thank loved ones for their support, and to ask for their continued support and love in the future. Why shouldn’t that beautiful sentiment also apply to adults who are choosing to change their names?

If you’re interested in discussing an adult naming ceremony in London or the South East (or further afield, but really fun to be around), get in touch. If you’re keen to talk to someone elsewhere in the UK, you can find a naming celebrant through Humanists UK

Originally published at http://louisecurtishumanist.co.uk on November 8, 2019.