Learn. Unlearn. Relearn.
A couple of months ago (actually during the latter months of my second year in college) I contemplated dropping out of college because I was starting to get overwhelmed. Not entirely with college work, but I had started to feel college work was taking away from me and I could be doing more out of college.
Truth is, I wanted to run away from college because I was failing at it and after nearly a decade of trying and not getting into it, here I was, not doing the most to make the most of the opportunity.
My attitude (from about the second semester of my first year) was to learn by interest. As you’ve guessed, I didn’t have a lot of interest in college coursework and for the most part I just wanted to plug away on the charts, after studying ICT on YouTube, write stuff on the internet and play video-games.
Fortunately, I decided to stay one more semester after the another. The real reason for this was because I knew honestly that I had no idea what I’d do if I left college. So I just stayed back and keep letting my interests push me in the directions my instincts found comforting.
Some of these interests has included rapping (I write crappy lyrics by the way), drawing, sports and basically whatever pricked my mind long enough.
I got lucky in a sense as I was able to get resources that allowed me to expand my interests. And then I discovered there is something about the college environment that seems to offer some sense of security that I presume isn’t exactly present in the outside world.
I could learn and fail while in college and not get hit with the full consequences of failing.
Simply saying: you’re allowed to make mistakes in college.
So, I have let myself take advantage of this security to the limit it offers.
Certainly, with a bit more experience I can clearly point to the errors I made that has made college difficult. Because frankly, doing the same failed courses again and clearly understanding them after putting in the effort to actually learn them has been rather interesting. So now, I’m all about unlearning my bad habits that has made me not excel at learning in college.
It’ll take some effort and a miracle to graduate in the next year with some good grades and while I am convinced that I can do it — I for some reason feel complacent about actually doing it. Hopefully, with the coming months I outgrow my complacency.
(I am actively working on breaking my habit of complacency by working out 3-times a week. Letting myself do something hard to keep me accountable to myself before the next semester kicks-off).
If the miracle with my grades happens or not, I am dedicating myself to learning a lot on anything and everything that pricks my interest in this new semester. I’m sure I’ll drop a ton of them eventually, but I’m certain I’ll find something that sticks and I’ll stick long enough to it and make it scale for myself.
I’m eager to see how everything blends out and while I’m setting goals I’m just working without an emotional attachment to them. I’m just kicking the ball towards the goal and letting the scoreline do its thing.
I’m letting myself just focus on what I can control and not cutting a moment sleep on what I really can’t (don’t believe me — I still worry about a handful of things I can’t control).
I’m learning. I’m unlearning. I’m relearning.
— WILLIAMS FALODUN.
