First day of Lent. Yay.

I’ve decided that the key to willpower — other than willpower, which is even more important, obviously — is positive thinking. So here we go…

Tea. Yum. Lots of different, exotic, kinds. I’m not talking Assam, Earl Grey and every day teas which I have all the time. But all the teas my life will have room for, without being cluttered up by gin and tonics.

Such as, um. Chocolate tea. Pistachio tea. Spring tea. Green… oh no, that’s disgusting, isn’t it. There must be lots more exciting teas.

All right, how about soft drinks. No, really cool soft drinks. Tomato juice. Not just any tomato sauce, obv, but with tabasco, Worcestershire Sauce, lemon juice, celery salt, lime juice, black pepper, mustard, chilli powder, cayenne, cardamom, tikka masala, rice pudding, cannabis… Ok, you can take a good idea too far.

What about elderflower cordial. I’m sick of this already.

What is it about alcohol that makes it so endlessly varied? Nope. Wrong mind-frame. Alcohol is boring… Actually, you can take lying to yourself too far.

So. First day. I’ve only got to get through one day. At a time. The challenge is six o’clock.

If I can get past six o’clock without telling myself I need a little something just to finish off the day’s work, I’ll be laughing.

Before I know it, it will be ten o’clock, and I can have the treat I’m only allowed on days with no alcohol in it: proper eighteenth century chocolate such as Casanova drank: 70% dark chocolate melted in double cream.

Yum. Who needs will power…?