Pit Full of Unresolved Mysteries
Have you ever experienced a moment of uncertainty when you don’t have clear answers to certain questions? I’m sure many times. I don’t mean theoretical concepts about religion and whether God exists, or not. These are things you either believe in or not, and might not need additional proof on top of it. I mean questions that arise maybe after the rough end of a relationship, or after being ghosted — thinking about what you did wrong, why they behaved in a certain way, what you could have done to prevent it, etc.
You might think that the obvious solution to this would be simply to ask the question and get the answers you need; however, most of the time even asking the question seems pathetic, or it just doesn’t give you the answer that might seem valid and satisfying. Something still feels off, ticking in your mind in a very irritating way, and you feel like you are going to end up in an asylum.
I have had several unresolved mysteries like these recently, and all of them were quite crushing, time-, and energy-consuming. And these were not mysteries like where did I lose my pen or how did the coffee machine fix itself. I don’t tend to pay much attention to inquiring about stuff like this. What harms me the most is the huge question marks around human relationships — abruption of these relationships and the gnawing feeling that I did something wrong, or that I could have avoided it somehow. Feeling that I might have hurt someone with my words or actions lingers the longest and doesn’t tend to go away; I tried asking questions and respectfully claiming answers, but whatever answer I got was not even close to enough for me to stop ruminating over it.
The human mind and other people’s behavior are always going to remain a mystery, and I believe it’s almost impossible for one person to fully perceive and understand the motives and intentions behind certain behavior of the other person. That’s why our imagination starts running wild, and since we don’t have answers, we start to create those answers ourselves. And those answers that are generated in our minds always have a touch of our own insecurities and biggest fears. That’s why it ends up eating us internally and does not go away.
Given that there are going to be a lot of unresolved mysteries like these — especially about abrupted relationships and unresolved issues as their leftovers — we are destined to be affected by these issues. I know for sure that I’m always going to ruminate about them at night when I go to bed, or when I’m on the bus and the song into my ears brings a painful memory into my mind. And I also know for sure that I’m never going to have clear answers to those questions, so the mysteries are going to remain unsolved. So, the only thing left to do [if it helps at all] is creating a separate pit inside our minds that is meant for those types of mysteries — sort of like conspiracy theories that are only in our heads — we have certain outcomes, root causes that are vague and never confirmed, and our versions of those causes. We could just store all this information in this archive and try not to get back to it (well, only at certain points if we need to check something or use the patterns for future reference).
Who knows, maybe someday, in another life, we will get our confirmation or the real answer and resolve the case at last, just like the Pineapple Incident Mystery was resolved in the popular American sitcom How I Met Your Mother.
