Don’t Lose Your Curves
And other stupid things people say about women working out
I went to my first CrossFit competition last month (as a volunteer, not a competitor) and I was in awe of the female athletes. These women rocked sculpted arms and shoulders and competed fiercely. To some, this doesn’t seem like a big deal. But I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian environment, and I am still amazed by CrossFit. No sexism. No excuses. Just moving heavy shit.
The same sexism that perpetrated by fundamentalist Christianity permeates the rest of the modern world. It shouldn’t be a big deal for women to be muscular, but it is. Discouraging women from weight lifting is a form of patriarchal control, geared towards keeping women weaker than men. I’ve been fighting this feminist battle since I was a little girl. Most recently, both my parents (on separate occasions) made comments about me “bulking up” from CrossFit.
When I was young, my father told me that women shouldn’t be allowed in uniform, as cops, soldiers, or firefighters. Women weren’t strong enough to get the job done and they would distract the men from getting the job done. He argued that women were not strong enough to carry him out of a burning building, and should find other ways to support behind the scenes.
My warm-up for back squats is heavier than my father. Weight lifting improves your ability to move heavy things, including people, out of burning buildings. To say that no woman could carry a 170lb adult is ridiculous. If men are distracted by the thought of working alongside a woman, maybe you need to work on their social skills.
In Navy ROTC my freshman year of college (in no small part, a reaction to my father’s previous statement), I worked out a lot. I had a defined line down my chest and thighs that could crush skulls. At my small school in upstate NY, everyone assumed I was a lesbian. Straight women don’t have defined muscles. The only guy I had the courage to ask out rejected me because I was “intimidating.”
To assume that I’m lesbian because you think I’m trying to be a boy because I work out is offensive to lesbians. And if my muscles scare you, you deserve to feel intimidated.
I have been told repeatedly not to “lose those curves” or “literally work my ass off.” Nobody wants to cuddle with a stick.
Weighted squats make your ass bigger, not smaller. Working out does not turn you into Justin Bieber. It makes your waist smaller and your thighs stronger, improving your hourglass shape. These are ignorant things to say.
Every boyfriend I have had in my 20s except my most recent ex has discouraged me from working out. This discouragement is cleverly disguised as body image support: “You look great the way you are, babe.” This is code for: I don’t want you to work out because I’m not going to work out. If you work out, you’re going to make me feel bad about myself.
To all my ex-boyfriends: I don’t actually care about what you think of me working out. This isn’t about your. Its about me. Your job is to be a cheerleader or a workout buddy. Keep your platitudes to yourself.
These days, I have all the support that I need. Thanks to CrossFit and some truly motivating people, I can pursue my fitness goals uninhibited by sexism. Incidentally, those goals include “bulking up” because they include moving lots of heavy shit.
The next time you hear someone say “just don’t lose those curves,” especially if it is a man who clearly frequents the gym, please educate them on the effect working out really has on a woman’s body. Or, simply tell them to fuck off because its your body and its not their business.
