Why It’s Not Good to Get Used to Rejection

There is something worse than the pain of being rejected

Jocelyn Soriano
Nov 11, 2019 · 4 min read

Rejection is hard

We avoid the people we feel are looking down at us. We avoid mistakes that would get us bashed on social media. We try to surround ourselves with people we feel would protect us against those who’d try to bring us down.

At the end of the day, however, we can’t help but receive some rejection. This is especially true when you’re a writer. You may submit your work to various publications only to be rejected by editors. You may also successfully publish your piece, but then you’re not exempt from rejection by critics that read your work.

Being Immune to Rejection

Rejection may be so crippling that it could discourage you from doing your work. It could erode your self-esteem. It can even make you detest the very people who can help you improve your craft.

So you try our best to get used to it. When you think you’ve already gotten numb to every sort of rejection, you claim you’ve already succeeded in overcoming it.

What Happens When We Get Used to Rejection?

If you’re a writer, you’re no longer affected whenever editors or literary agents refuse your work. You are then able to continue working to produce more and more as you’ve never done so before —you celebrate how productive you’ve become!

Later on, however, you may notice something slowly happening to you. You find dryness and lack of inspiration. You lose the initial momentum you felt you had. You’re no longer afraid to submit your pitch, but then you could no longer submit any.

The Necessity of Rejection

The hurt caused by rejection alerts us that something is wrong

“Pain is unmasked, unmistakable evil; every man knows that something is wrong when he is being hurt…” ― C.S. Lewis

Here are some areas where pain can serve us well:

  • Pain tells us that something is wrong and we can do something to improve the situation.
  • Pain makes us more sensitive and develops our compassion.

Handling Rejection

Here are some of the things you can do instead of numbing the pain away:

  • Assess the situation. What was the cause of your hurt? Was it the natural effect of rejection? Was it something deeper? Are you being involved with people who can harm you?
  • Plan your course of action. You may take measures to improve your self-esteem. You may think of ways to improve your craft. You may also look for other strategies to be successful in your line of work.
  • Use your pain. Your pain may be telling you to avoid people that could harm you. Listen to it. On the other hand, you may use it to propel you towards your full potential as you listen to constructive criticisms about your work. If you’re a writer, you may use that pain as an inspiration for your next piece. Empathy and compassion are tools to help you write stories more readers could relate to.

Final Thoughts

“Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself.”― C.S. Lewis

You may not see pain as a friend, but pain serves a purpose

My Freelance Writing Journey

A journal of my personal journey as a freelance writer.

Jocelyn Soriano

Written by

“Currently living in and writing about a real-life love story with Jesus” ❤ Follow my story at https://catholicdiary.substack.com/

My Freelance Writing Journey

A journal of my personal journey as a freelance writer.

Jocelyn Soriano

Written by

“Currently living in and writing about a real-life love story with Jesus” ❤ Follow my story at https://catholicdiary.substack.com/

My Freelance Writing Journey

A journal of my personal journey as a freelance writer.

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