Letter to God — 18

Hi God.

I just had an awful thought. As it continues to sink in with me the weight of it feels like a brick descending in my soul. Please know that I recognize that this thought or attitude is not correct. Please also know that if you can please forgive me for this grievance and unloving stance, that I will use it to supply my soul with the truth and never take this deficient stance again.

Who am I to think that I can just do things that defy your laws of love with the post-statement that everything will be alright because I’ll just work through it, or I’ll just ask you for forgiveness, and I know you’ll give it to me. Please forgive me my complete and utter lack of respect. This was not loving to either You or quite frankly to me as well. Just when I’m starting to develop a relationship with You. I go and throw a big wrench in everything. Please fill my soul with the truth of this issue and in such a way that I will never have to learn this lesson again. To have treated You in this way is making me feel awful. I’m terribly sorry.

God, in the Padgett Messages I hear Jesus refer many times to trying to help James rid himself of his earthly work so that he could focus solely on Jesus’s work. If there is any broader perspective or spirit insight about how I could do something similar, I would greatly love any ideas. I feel myself coming to and mostly at a place where worldly possessions and material things really have no meaning to me. Walking today through the streets it was almost as though I was turned off by all of the excess and materialism around me. If I had Your Love filling my soul, I’m certain that I would have everything that I need in my life — meaning that all I really need and want now and forever is Your Love and to come to know You. I want this so desperately, and yet, I feel like I have a hard time conveying this with sincerity to You.

I loved our connection under the tree today. I got a sense of Your Creative Flavor and I found such beauty in the changing colors of the leaves. I can’t even begin to imagine what colors are going to look like in Your Kingdom.

To hear Helen and Ann describe their homes¹ makes me yearn to be there already. It all sounds so loving and as though the greatest care and detail is attended. I can’t imagine why I would think that this would be less in your infinite creativity and giving.

I wrote a letter to a guy I very briefly met (met is probably too strong of a word) back in July. Unfortunately, when I went to drop it off he wasn’t there. Maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve been so desperate to start finding my soulmate lately that I’ve been asking guys out left and right. Fortunately or unfortunately, they are either all straight or not interested in me.

I get the feeling that I could really use some help making sure that I’m actually getting involved with my soulmate. I so badly want to start that off on the right foot. I don’t want to get involved with someone — only to hurt them later or to miss out on the opportunity to actually meet my soulmate.

God, hopefully you’ve heard this from me before, although maybe not in such a direct statement: What can I do to help You and these other souls?” I would drop everything and make this my life’s work if I had some kind of inkling of what the work actually should be.

I had a brilliant time walking around today and learning more about Your Plan, Your Laws, and the work going on in the spirit world. It all seems fascinating and very exciting to me. I’m trying to remain aware so that I don’t get too ‘heady’ with it all and spend all of my time intellectualizing it all.

I do have a question for Ya! I go to Matt Kahn’s presentation on Saturday. There he’ll talk about the Galactic Federation and the Council of Elders (I believe), and he’ll talk about the downloads of information that he’s been receiving.

I’m pretty sure at this point that these are just spirits masquerading as these figures and with this agenda. However, I have yet to really understand the full picture of the universe as in what’s out there? Do other races exist? Non-human races? Do they have interactions with us? Is he possibly interacting with some of these beings?

I anticipate the answer is no, but I’ve heard Jesus make mention of other earths several times, and I’m curious what is the truth. Knowing this may help me frame questions to Matt about the spirits he’s working with. I’d love some help of how to do this while staying in a loving space. Please know that my passion and thoughts for You and Your Love build daily. Hopefully You’re feeling this.

Love,

L__

¹ Ann and Helen are spirits who both channeled many messages to James Padgett. They both wrote messages describing their houses and the beautiful surroundings in the spirit world and the Celestial Heavens. The messages can be read in the True Gospel Revealed Anew — Vol 1.