Chapter 4- Work in Progress…That’s what I am..
30th July’18
Yup, 36 years old and still under construction. Still making mistakes, still having doubts, still haven’t achieved all my goals, still failing, still getting rejected, still trying hard, still learning every single day.
Still not there… Yet…..
Yet such a powerful word it is. I had begun looking at this word from a completely different perspective after watching Carol Dweck speak about it on TED a few years ago. I realized the kind of powerful effect this 3 letter word could have on our mindset. So every time since then, the moment I doubted my capability, I began reassuring myself by saying I am not there YET. And yes it made a lot of difference.
It was like a reminder for me to keep on working towards my goals, learning in every step and not stressing about immediate results.
It helped me a lot.
But then, there is a twist to this story too.
As I got tangled in the daily hustle bustle of life, the impact that this TED talk had made on my mind started getting weaker and weaker by day. In fact, there came a point of time that I forgot about the power of this word ‘yet ‘and began stressing about why I hadn’t reached where I wanted to be.
It took a great amount of struggle, tears, and frustration for me to once again remind myself about making use of this word and altering my attitude towards life.
That’s the thing about any kind of motivation right? We need to set a daily reminder to keep it fresh in our mind, I am understanding that the lessons I learn through these powerful videos, books or even through life, must be revised regularly.Only then I can actually remember them whenever I need them the most.
That brings me back to documenting something that happened just this morning. As he was getting ready for school, Rishi started talking about his school sports team. “ Okay now enough talking, get ready quickly,” I said to him. I know he loses track of time whenever he starts with one of his stories. Still, he continued speaking. I don’t even remember what he was saying as I was too occupied preparing for the day ahead and simultaneously rushing the kids to get dressed fast. However, as he was sitting in the car, Rishi said something that made me pause for a moment.
He said, “I am terrible at sports. I have been trying to get in the team for two years and I haven’t gotten in. I guess I’ll never make it.”
Then he buckled up and began staring outside the window. As we were saying our goodbyes at the school gate, I stopped him and said to him. “You are not terrible at sports. Nothing is permanent. It’s not like you’ll never make the sports team. It’s just you haven’t made it yet..”
“ What do you mean??” He asked.
“You have your whole life ahead of you,” I replied. “You are just 10. If you try your best, maybe you’ll make it one day. When will that day be, I can’t say. But you can make it for sure. Only if you never quit trying. Never convince yourself that you are never going to be good at something. Just say, ‘I am not there yet.’”
“I am not there YET.” He repeated with a grin. “Bye, mommy.”
As I watched him walk towards that gate, I could feel a bounce in his walk. I could witness the exact same impact this powerful message had made on him as it once did on me.
But I know that this effect is not going to last for long. I know he is going to forget the valuable message his mom had passed on to him on a sunny Monday morning. I know self-doubt, fear, and self-criticism are going to try to creep into his mind.
I realize that when this happens, I have to keep on reminding him of the power of ‘yet’. But in order to do that, I need to find a way to remember it myself.. Forever.
Lesson # 4 -
I am a work in progress. But that’s how I am going to progress in life. I must never forget that. I must remind myself every single day to practice the power of yet. That will give me the confidence to keep going and that’s how I can pass the message to my kids …with complete conviction.
