My First Proposal

14th January 2014

I was still in school preparing for my final project. She was in Lagos. We had spoken a night before and I told her I was coming to Lagos briefly to see a few people. I mentioned that I’ll stop by to say hello. We agreed to meet in Sweet Sensation, Olowora. My first stop when I came into Lagos was to see Mr. Joseph Agunbiade of Univelcity with regards to my project. After visiting Mr Joseph, I set off to Berger. I stopped at the wrong stop and had to walk a bit. But nothing will take away the joy that was set before me. We met at the restaurant and I remember RCCG fast was on so she didn’t make any orders. I sent this note to her and tried to say the words from my memory…

I think the note needs a little background. A few months before this, I had told her that I felt we were getting emotionally invested in each other and was not too safe to keep things going. We wanted to draw lines and define the relationship. I suggested we back up a little bit and consider if this is something we really wanted to do. At this time, I felt ready. I was willing not just to be emotionally invested, but to be totally committed…

Since I don’t have pictures for that day…

Remember our chat on friendship and emotions? And the one where we attempted a definition of the relationship? I don’t think they really helped much. That’s even if it worked at all. The best it did was to prove me wrong.

Personally, I think I’ve been trying to cage an experience that was meant to soar. I have been forcing into chains, a love that was meant to be free. Now, I am convinced this is meant to be. So now, I’ll be doing what I perceive is right for me. I want to ask your consent to interfere with your life. I want to give you the permission to interfere with mine.

Though I was drawn by your beauty, your person is more fascinating; more interesting. You always give me a great time each time, even with tiredness in my muscles, sleep in your eyes, thoughts in my minds and pain in your tummy. Only the beautiful mind can endure that. I have a lot of friends, but none has come this far.

I have come to love and trust your person; That you are on the Lord’s side is the basis for this; That you have made little sacrifices here and there strengthens my convictions; And having hope headed in the same direction is confidence for days ahead.

Now, I can answer all your question without watching my words. I can pour out my heart without fear of being misinterpreted; I can call you all the names in my head and defend each one. I can go out with you and make all those statements. I can probably attend a family party now.


(Second Note sent immediately after the first)

May I ask now…

All my life I’ve been learning about and experiencing God’s love. I still am. But I perceive I can now find a vessel and pour the best of what I have in there. I’ll top it up as I learn more and as the vessel grows. I choose you…

The mystery of Christ and his Church is overwhelming. I’m convinced marriage gives us a foretaste. I choose to go that way with you…

I want to make you my choice…

I’m not sure if marriage is the right thing to ask but that’s exactly what I have in mind. However, since it is most appropriate that a period of discovery and bonding come first, may I ask that we take that first step?

I’m not in a hurry to know you. I want to take it one day at a time. I want to spend the rest of my life to unwrap what God deposited in you. So, I have decided that we cross from being good friends to courting friends. Will you come along with me?

You know what? You have crossed all my boundary lines; pushed over my demarcation; overridden my basic defence system; awakened a sleepy part of me; awakened my love… I ask that we dare this big wave and surf to deeper waters…

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