Day 15

I am in the process of my interviews for starting my masters and it is really hectic every day. And he tries to stay in touch at this time.

We had a long “relationship-y” chat today and it was good in terms of me being more clear and strong with my understanding. Also, I was not getting with the flow. I could see how stronger I’ve got during this time of cutting him off. And, I could guide him also in a better way, towards a clearer understanding of his own situation.

He’s going to tell me his final decision in one or two days if he’s really ready to commit. And frankly, I’m not getting overwhelmed by either a yes or a no.

If he says a yes, then also it is fine. I can handle myself in a much better way now with him and our relationship.

If he says no, then also it is his choice. I would be totally okay with it and add many more articles to this list. (And move on completely).

Right now, all I feel good about is my own equanimity in the situation. I’ve never been this stable in my circumstances with him before. I think, whatever happens, I’m going to get the best of it!

(Though there is again a doubtful thought that if he still needs to think about me, is he worthy of my commitment?!)