Day 29

I’ve started behaving like a drug addict at times, where I keep having the “withdrawal symptoms”. My brain has started giving/making reasons why I should be talking to him. Trust me, it is a tough exercise to go against your own “intense” thoughts and cravings!

I am deeply craving to talk to him. Deeply.

But, the damage that has been done seems far from a repair. The reason I am not giving in to my cravings is this only — nothing is going to transform whatever he thinks about me. He is going to be the same person. In fact, he might not even change if I talk to him now. Because talking to him now will prove that he was right — that “I will need him”.

And the last thing I want to do right now is proving him right.

So, I’m just trying to avoid not talking to him as much as I can. I’ll definitely not screw up my interviews over him.

If I’ll feel that he is the “only” last resort, then I might have to find a way to face him. Until then, I can freely live with my fears and cravings. They keep a good company.