Picking Up the Candy
Scrambled brains hard at work…
For years I have juggled multiple commitments. I just can’t help myself… I get excited about possibilities, and bored with the daily grind. It gets frustrating, and I often get burned out, but it’s a cycle I sustain none the less.
I have my EMT certification, with lots of bits of information I’ve learned (and forgotten), various skills I need to keep proficient at, and several years of hands on experience. I am also in the reserves, in a non- medical position, where I am required to have totally different skills and knowledge.
I love the variety, but it is so hard for me sometimes, because there’s so many pieces of information I have to retain and recall as needed. Add to that the daily demands of being a functioning grown adult with family and household obligations, and it turns into a bigger pile to juggle. I only recently understood why I do this to myself.
It’s part of my ADHD.
Before I delve into the little bit of science I’ve recently learned, let me explain how this feels for me, which may be totally different for you or anyone else. Imagine a pinata; colorful, probably an animal or cartoon character. You usually buy them excitedly for a special occasion. You’ve got your hollow pinata, and you stuff it with candy (or tiny liquor bottles for adults). You, or someone else, is blindfolded and spun around, and the pinata is whacked with a stick until it explodes. Candy is everywhere, and everyone scrambles to scoop it up! Now, imagine that each piece of candy represents a responsibility.
When I need to recall a piece of information, or remember something I need to do, my brain starts scrambling to pick up the candy and make it make sense. I try to put the candy back into the bags they came in first. I scoop up all of the M&Ms (EMT skills) and put them back into the M&M bag. I find a bunch of Starburst (my son’s appointments, homework, etc…) and put it back in the Starburst bag. Snickers (reservist responsibilities) go into the Snickers bag, and Jolly Ranchers (trying to eat right and exercise) go back into the Jolly Ranchers bag. You can imagine how out of control this can get as you have more candy/ responsibilities.
Now that everything is organized, I can recall what I need to; that’s my second step. For example, M&Ms come in different colors, and each color can represent a different EMT skill. Much easier to recall if my brain keeps it in the EMT/ M&M bag. It’s the same with all of the candy examples I gave. Jolly Ranchers represent my health, and I think we can all relate to trying to eat right, cook (and all of the steps involved in cooking) along with all of the different ways to exercise and how to fit them into our day.
All day, every day, feels like the first step without certain adaptations. At least for me.
ADHD comes with more signs/ symptoms and science than I ever knew, before my own diagnosis and curiosity. The struggles I described relate to executive functioning, specifically my working memory, which people with ADHD struggle with. Here’s the list (or you can click the link I provided):
- Self Awareness
- Inhibition
- Non- Verbal Working Memory
- Verbal Working Memory
- Emotional Self Regulation
- Planning and Problem Solving
You’ve got to have self awareness to know what system works for you. Non- verbal working memory is like your brain’s imagery, vs verbal working memory, which is your mind’s inner voice. If you don’t see how this relates to my pinata example, imagine not being able to easily remember all of those little colorful pieces of responsibility. If you can’t remember them, it makes planning and problem solving very difficult. This Ologies podcast gave a detailed, science based and easy to understand explanation of ADHD.
Another option to understand how ADHD affects our day to day responsibilities is to check out the Brili app, which is honestly what made me understand executive functioning the best. Their “Good Morning” routine includes, but is not limited to, taking a shower, getting dressed, brush hair, brush teeth, eat breakfast, put away dishes, etc… These are all little tasks that can be challenging with executive functioning issues. Thankfully, I don’t need the Brili app, but I saw just how many tasks we do without even thinking about it.
Let’s get back to the “candy”… It is HARD to be healthy with ADHD. Eating right takes a lot of executive functioning energy. Plan a meal, make a list, go to the grocery store, follow steps for the recipe, clean up the mess. Add to that the unhealthy snacking that comes with poor impulse control and need for stimulation and it’s very tricky. I have to keep bagged salads in my refrigerator because I will eat anything once I realize I’m starving because I forgot to eat. I have to take my produce out of their bags before I put them into the refrigerator because if I don’t see them, I don’t remember the fruits and vegetables I bought, and they go bad. I do curbside orders so I can stick to a list, and I often use a crockpot to cook.
I love to exercise, and exercise is great for out bodies and our minds. Let me tell you, I don’t exercise much because I get distracted and forget. I literally have exercise routines in my planner that I created and printed from Workoutlabs.com but unless I have a work or school schedule as a foundation to build a routine from, nothing gets done. Nothing. I HAVE to use habit stacking to do anything.
Habit stacking means you take a habit you already have, do the routine after your current habit, then give yourself a reward of some sort. So it’s cue > routine > reward. For example, I come home, hang my keys on a hook, and never have to hunt for them. Another example is that if I know I have to work, I wake up, stretch, go to work, come home, and stretch again. I walk about ten miles a shift, help transfer patients, and do a lot of pushing. If I don’t stretch, I ache. Unfortunately, I only ever seem to remember to stretch on days I work. Days off are a struggle for me to get anything done, because I don’t have habits at home to use for stacking.
We all have to adapt, but you’ve got to have a little self awareness to find what works for you. This does not matter if you are neurotypical or neurodivergent. Let’s go back to another “candy” example. For my skills and knowledge requirements for the reserves, I took everything I could possibly need to know, and I split the information and skills into general ideas; otherwise known as picking up the candy and putting it into their bags. I then typed out notes, with each “bag of candy” general idea getting it’s own page.
Each page is set up as a single column, with rows. Each row is a piece of information. So…. The page is the bag of candy, and the rows are each different colored piece of candy. MUCH easier to find, understand and retain what I need to. Picture a single page titled “boat specifications;” the single column has a row for how long the boat is, the next row is how tall the boat is, the next row is how much the boat weighs. On another page is a column titled “first aid;” one row is how to treat burns, the next row is how to treat for shock, the next row is environmental emergencies.
For planning and problem solving, not memory recall as in the above example, I use a bullet journal. It is filled with printed charts that have been taped to several pages. Underneath is my scratch paper. There are spaces to color if I need to relax or concentrate better. There are drawings to color in to use as a habit tracker, to see if I really am exercising as much as I think I am. There are sticky notes for reminders. That is what works for me.
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