Teaching is Sucking the Life Out of Me
My experience as a first year teacher…
I have an Associate’s Degree and ten years of experience working in healthcare, which qualifies me to start teaching in the state of Texas. The school I work with is 98% minority and 86% in poverty- many people refer to my students as “hood kids.” I don’t really like that term though.
As a brand new teacher, I teach three courses- two of them are health science technology classes and one is a research class. I have about 160 students, about 5 or 6 of them do not speak English, and I do not speak Spanish or Pashto. I get by with Google Translate. I also have about 20 special education students, and many that are 504 students. Three of my classes have 30 students in them.
Our school is an International Baccalaureate school- don’t ask me, I don’t know. All I know is that I have to incorporate their ten “learner profiles” into my work. I also have to maintain two separate gradebooks (two different websites) for any 9th and 10th graders I have. Who doesn’t love to double grade?
We are not given lesson plans. I love having the freedom and creative ability to teach what I need to based on my interpretation of what Texas requires, but it is an enormous amount of work. Lesson planning for three courses, for one week, equaling two to three lesson plans per course, takes me about six or seven hours- I think. That includes the PowerPoint presentations I make to display on the smart TV, plus assignments. My classes are 90 minutes long, which if you don’t over-plan, can feel like an eternity.
I get to school about 45 minutes before class starts, head home at the bell, and work another hour to two from home. I have one period off for conference, while core teachers get two periods off to lesson plan.
This is my first year teaching. It took me TWO MONTHS to even figure out how to organize myself- how to keep track of my lesson plans, what my class routine would be, how to make a seating chart… I’ve had to learn classroom management as I go.
When school started, I didn’t know how to use the program to take attendance- I learned that the second week. I didn’t know how to use the app that teachers use to give assignments, tests, or post class notes until the third week of school. I also didn’t know how to input grades until the third week of school- just in time for progress reports.
I still need to learn how to use the other gradebook we have, and I’ve lost track of what other tasks I have. I get pulled from class about once a week to attend a 30 minute meeting for special education students that aren’t even mine, because they need someone from my department.
We’ve also switched to electronic passes for the bathroom or nurse’s office, which students are using, but I haven’t learned how to do that either. Why is this needed? Because students take 30 minute bathroom breaks, multiple bathroom breaks, and they try to tear sinks out of the bathrooms due to a TikTok challenge. Speaking of TikTok, I was advised that if I get desperate waiting for a teacher’s bathroom (which we have keys for because they have to be locked) to be careful because there is another TikTok challenge to take a picture of a teacher using the bathroom
Many students are sweet, but some of my students are incredibly disrespectful. I also feel as though I have to not only teach my material, but also work ethic as well. They take so many shortcuts, it is sad. Students are issued chromebooks, and many just copy and paste from the internet. My “warm ups” to start class with are usually simple questions that cover something I haven’t taught yet, to get them to critically think and to see what they already know. An example of this is asking them to write down “what they think bio-terrorism is.” Instead of thinking it through, many just try to Google an answer.
I have good days, but mostly it feels like I am drowning. I had my T-TESS evaluation done recently by the Principal. He marked me Proficient in everything and Accomplished on a few things, so I’m pretty sure I’m a good teacher at least sometimes. Unfortunately, none of the stress, task overload or disrespect from students makes teaching feel worth it.
I had to fill out a questionnaire that asked things like “what are your student learning outcome goals?” I don’t know, pass the class? “How will you collaborate with another teacher on lesson plans?” I don’t know, I don’t even know what MY lesson plans are until a day or two before I teach it. “What community outreach project will you do with your students?” Are you kidding me?
Right now I am on Thanksgiving break, and I was so excited to get ahead on my lesson plans. Instead, I stayed in bed exhausted for THREE DAYS. Then I cleaned my disgustingly cluttered house, visited family, and exercised. I am pitifully out of shape- my last PT test in the reserves was so difficult. I would LOVE to paint this week, but we will see. I also haven’t even touched my work laptop because I am so happy to be away from school… and I need to catch up on my own life.
What gets me through the days sometimes is the thought that I don’t have to go back next year if I don’t want to.
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