Happy Friday, from your boss Bruce

Hi Ryan,

I will need you to fill in for me at a meeting this afternoon — it’s at 4:45 in Darlene’s office. Jeremy will be there. It’s important that you come prepared with the great numbers that you compiled in Excel from last season. She loves percentages and probabilities, and just fun facts in general (she drinks a lot of Snapple, if you didn’t notice). Can you put some colorful, 3D pie charts together and print and laminate them on 24x16 posterboard? There is an easel in the mailroom, but please let me know if you need to use my credit card to go to the FedEx store and print the posters for the meeting. I trust you know what you’re doing.

Shouldn’t take more than three hours. While you’re there, please hint at Darlene about getting that press kit together for the summer — she’s been dropping the ball lately and we need to keep pushing. Use the “It’s for the customers” slant.

Happy Friday,

Bruce

— — —

Ryan,

This grant (attached) is due tomorrow — I wrote the first sentence, but was thinking a second set of talented eyes might be of help. Can you get it started, and finished, by 5 pm? I know it’s tight, but the proposal has just 7 parts with a 3,000-word personal statement. Accounting will take care of the budget, but don’t be afraid to make the writing shine like you always do — be smart with your language, please.

Happy Friday,

Bruce

— — —

Hi Ryan,

I see our website is down. Jeremy is out — could you go in there and hack at it for a while since you’re great with social media? Please have this done by the end of today. While you’re in there, please fix our “About” page to have all staff headshots match their names. Please photograph any executive staffmember whose photo is missing — we have the materials (backdrop, umbrella thing, blazers) in the downstairs mailroom. I can already tell you that Veronica and Rachel will try to avoid you all afternoon because of this. Double check that all positions and descriptions are updated (especially mine, I’m seeing now that it hasn’t been updated since the promotion).

I’m also seeing that our “Mission & Vision” page could use a new photo — feel free to go out this afternoon and snap a good one of our programs in practice. Can you make the page have a slideshow of photos with captions, actually? Any chance of getting a YouTube video with customer interviews and statistics?

Actually, why don’t you snap a couple thousand photos and get a Flickr account started? Ask Stacey if you can use the PhotoShop on her iMac.

I’m looking at our website design — call me crazy, but is our logo outdated or what? Please put together some specs for the new logo by COB and I’ll have it reviewed by our graphic designer.

Happy Friday,

Bruce

— — —

Hey Ryan,

My wife and I just got invited to her brother’s restaurant for an evening of craft cocktails and tiny hors d’oeuvres (he makes the best mini lobster rolls). I know it’s last minute, but I am not allowed to miss this. Could you come over and watch my kids and dogs for eight hours or so? You were so great with them for five minutes at the summer picnic and they’re very easygoing. Please come over at 6 pm.

Actually, now that I think about it, could you burn some CDs for me? I used to ask my daughters to do this, but now I have you. I have some playlists open on my iTunes account titled “Getting ready,” “Morning commute,” “Dinnertime,” and “Sleepytime” — please burn those to four separate discs and mark them appropriately.

There are leftovers in the refrigerator, but Aris will most definitely request your famous squash soup. If she does, don’t hesitate to make it; in fact, you’ll find a butternut squash right on the counter. The immersion blender is under the sink. Please, make yourself at home.

No big deal if you can’t — I can ask Jeremy. But the kids really prefer you.

Happy Friday,

Bruce

— — —

Ryan,

For some reason or another (probably my wife’s fault), my weekend trip to Vermont starts tomorrow. I’ll need you to come in and get that data entered before the fiscal year ends on Monday. It’s Saturday, so feel free to sleep in, but know that this will take 7 hours without a lunch. Feel free to use my office to do this — there are clementines and seltzer in my mini fridge.

Happy Friday,

Bruce

— — —

Ryan,

My wife is going into labor this evening — wondering if you will join us. I don’t do well with bodily fluids and you were so good with her for five minutes at the summer picnic. She’s very easygoing, especially around you. I trust you know how to care for a birthing woman, both physically and emotionally — you’re much better at dealing with this than I am.

Please meet us at Mercy Hospital at 6:30 pm — follow the screaming. Text me if you find yourself in the wrong room.

Happy Friday,

Bruce

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