I’m Happy for You!
This is a big week for people I love. My cousin, Sarah, is getting married. My dear friend Becca, as we learned in last week’s issue, will give birth to her second child any day now. Some friends are celebrating wedding anniversaries, while others are announcing promotions.
I’ll attend Sarah’s wedding — the second wedding I’ve braved since becoming a widow; I’ll wish that I was there in person to welcome Becca’s baby into the world; and I’ll join in the chorus of congratulations on social media for my married and working friends. But none of those things will feel especially natural or easy.
It seems every week I know someone who’s celebrating a new job, someone who’s announcing an engagement, and someone else having a baby — so goes life when you’re in your 30s. Meanwhile, I feel like I’ve been the Friend with Nothing to Celebrate for the past 20 months. That’s a long time to feel like you’re missing out. When my anxious brain gets going, I can easily convince myself that I’m quickly running out of days to become a parent, to advance in my career, to get married (again). What’s worse is that those anxious thoughts make celebrating everyone else’s joys feel like a burden.
Since Jamie died, I’ve tried to protect myself and my aching heart by limiting my exposure to others’ happy life events. But I can’t always predict when those moments will happen, and it’s…
