MY THOUGHTS ABOUT: Sonic The Hedgehog Movie Trailer
Hey, it’s Noah here. Ho ho ho, look what I have here.
This is Sonic The Hedgehog. In real life. Wow.
Now, I know I’m quite late on this, but I still wanna give my opinion on this, because the internet had lots of things to say about this, and I decided to take a look at it. Oh my, is it horrible as my shit.
My first thought is, why does Sonic look so weird? He looks more like a horror movie antagonist than a protagonist. I mean, just look at him. He looks like some fury monster that has been unleashed from the deep, dark Minecraft shafts.
This is Sonic in 1991.
Awesome looking, right? A great Sega Mascot he is. What a nice-looking hedgehog. He has a few games like Sonic 1–3, and all of them are of excellent standard. Cool graphics, great audio, and satisfying gameplay. Am I right?
Now, here’s Sonic a few years later, in 2012.
Looks more 3D-ish, doesn’t he? Technology sure made him look nicer than before, and taller actually (to me, I guess). This is in Sonic 4, and he still looks decent. Still the same old Sonic, right?
This is him in 2019.
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS THIS? WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE SOME EVIL MOB?! So, *sigh*, this human found Sonic hiding after he is wanted by the police for causing a power surge. And the guy just shoots a tranquilizer dart at Sonic. Good job, is it that easy, human?
Now, Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” is playing in the background as Sonic says “I’m gonna have to save your world” Like what? I hate cocky people who acts so big just because he/she has superpowers and say, “Looks like I ‘m gonna have to save your world.”
The next few scenes show Sonic saving the guy and a girl and him dodging a million bullets. Oh, so he can dodge all these bullets, but he can’t dodge a FUCKING TRANQUILIZER DART? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, PARAMOUNT? WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME?
God damn it, Sonic is ruined by this damn trailer. Sonic’s ugly as fuck, the story plot sucks, and the other characters look and sound annoying. The movie hasn’t even come out, and he’s already ruined. All the years Sega took to build him up…just went down the drain thanks to this. I’m sure this movie ain’t going to succeed, even when Paramount decided to delay the movie to change Sonic’s appearance.
And to top this off, my reactions to this…is the same reaction SammyClassicSonicFan had when he hates the Sonic fanbase.
“WHEN WILL YOU LEARN…WHEN WILL YOU LEARN…THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!”
This is Noah, signing out.
