When Trans Folk, & Trans Kids, Change Their Name — Funny thing, names. We name things all the time. We might call a city London. Or Moscow. We might never wonder why do call them that. We might find it peculiar that Spanish people call them “Londres” and “Moscú.” And most of us might not realize that London comes from…

For parents of transgender children, the time has come for hard choices — When push comes to shove, we have to make hard choices. If you've always surrounded yourself with progressive, open-hearted, educated people, you'll have an easier time telling the world your child is trans. If you built your social circles around entitled, rich, regressive, authoritarian, bigoted people, people who hide behind…

Remember, you’re in charge of what happens next — It’s a lot, isn’t it. The endocrinologist. The new therapist. The long, awkward conversations with your parents. Having to make serious life choices. And all of this at thirteen. Puberty is a really difficult time for most people. Your whole identity gets overhauled. Your body evolves into something new, and…

Your Child Came Out as Trans? Here’s Your Playbook — Find a Gender Therapist It is important to find a gender therapist — a mental health professional trained in recognizing gender dysphoria. Parents often wonder, maybe he’s just gay? Maybe she’s reacting to misogyny or objectification? Maybe my child is mimicking/copying a friend? …

A plea to parents of transgender children — One big disconnect I see in parents and children is that parents often feel blindsided by their child coming out. Oftentimes the parent is not aware or informed about trans experience. Oftentimes the parent has a lot of adjusting to do emotionally, including letting go of gender expectations and finding…

One of the trickiest parts of making peace with our gender identity is battling oppressive gender narratives — One of the trickiest parts of the gender conversation is the misogyny/toxic masculinity dynamic of this society. Boys who WANT to be men, but find the restrictive/prescriptive requirements (boys don’t cry etc.) like a straightjacket around their heart. Girls who WANT to be women, but find the objectification, the male…

How old were you when you knew you were a boy, a girl? — A common argument thrown at parents of transgender children is, “but aren’t they too young to know?” This argument is flawed in a number of ways. First of all, think about all of the ridiculous, over-the-top gender-reveal parties. Think of all the gendered toys. Think of the blue and pink…

The bathroom debate is so much more than where people are allowed to relieve themselves. — On the first day of his administration, President Biden made headlines when he signed what The Human Rights Campaign (a leading LGBTQ advocacy group) called “The most substantive, wide-ranging LGBTQ Executive Order in U. S. History”. This administration is making a bold move to protect gay and transgender rights and…

The panic of parents new to trans experience — I think some parents learn about their kids being trans and panic, thinking now they have this whole new thing to face. Everything was fine, and now this. Maybe a reframe would help. You HAD a major thing all along. Eating at your kid from the inside. Now you know what…