TRANS KIDS

How Do I Know if My Child is Transgender?

Addressing parental uncertainty and fears — “What if I get this wrong?”

What Is Gender?

Let’s start here, because too many conversations skip this part or assume we’re all on the same page. (Oftentimes that’s how communication goes sideways.).

Gender is not a euphemism for anatomy. It’s not an interchangeable term for chromosomes. It’s not a polite way to say “biological sex.” Gender, as we understand it today, is a deeply layered social, psychological, and cultural construct — and like every social system humans have devised, it is imperfect, ever-evolving, and powerfully influential. The expectations society places on “men” and “women” — from tone of voice to hobbies to career choices to who is allowed to cry in public — those are gender roles. And those roles are taught, reinforced, and policed from birth.

Granted, in most societies, a doctor, nurse, or traditional birth attendant takes one look between the baby’s legs and, in the presence of a penis, announces “it’s a boy” — in the presence of a vulva, announces “it’s a girl.” And granted, many societies use this one indicator — along with secondary characteristics developed in puberty — to further confirm and affirm the person’s sex AND…