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A MINUTIA RANT DISGUISED AS FAKE NEWS
#25 Americans are Not Impatient Enough: New Study (or a Rant)
Secret Study Reveals… (Biting Satire, Dark Humor…*
ª Referring to the line of those hooked on legal caffeinated beverages, all but three are not practicing their impatience skills to the max.
* Don’t you just feel irritated with IMPATIENCE when the CLOSED PARENTHICAL IS NOT USED? COME ON! Really!
OR MAYBE YOU DON’T CARE!!! (just as bad!)
Nun of the above — I’m outta here (yelling)!
Seriously, though, this study was prepared by the Pe-Hue U-turn Committee or PHUC and Cracken Quacken University Statistical Board and Certified by the Execrate Committee for the Eradication of Puns.
˜ Secret Study of Insider Corporate CEOs disguised as AI Bots reveals how maximum impatience can send your productivity into the stratosphere and beyond — Outer Space!!!
Are you feeling impatient for the punchline?
Jonesing for endorphins of clickbait?
Or just looking to throttle the author in a chokehold?
(No charts are used in this report due to the weak-minded author’s confusion with lines, arrows, pointers, and numbers, aka math.)
