You Cannot Sell Me An iPhone
Don’t waste your time.
The first time I got an iPhone, it was the then latest make — iPhone X. I was always a faithful user of Android.
In Nigeria, status is everything. But status isn’t just everything if it makes no noise. Status must be loud enough to ‘oppress’ the next person, for it to be recognized and once recognized, you get adoration and worship. By oppression, I mean that competition where you are showing off, through your material possessions, that you are wealthier, and so, wealthier, than the next person.
For a country that imports everything from plastic chairs to toothpicks, my country is one of the biggest consumers of everything West — from gadgets to clothes to music, etc. We are literally drowning in inflation and outrageous living costs and yet, we keep up with all the Joneses in the world.
Unfortunately for me, I am neither loud nor flashy, and I prefer a status that does not make me spend money — like an iPhone does. Like come on people, we earn in naira. $1 is now 1000 naira.
You have to pay for some apps to be unlocked — what? My money? On my personal property? Apple, you okay? Just like I cannot do certain transfers or downloads. Who again owns this product?
Then my laptop has to match my phone to use both together seamlessly. Then I have to buy the Apple Watch, the Apple headphone, and everything else that will cement my status, in the eyes of my country’s scorekeepers.
Is the iPhone situation complete? Nope, because next, I have entered into a competition with every other person every year when the next iPhone comes out.
For the Westerners and Europeans who have a system where they can pay for an iPhone over a year or over months, my situation may sound like a whine. Here though, we pay the hundreds or thousands for an iPhone — outright. There isn’t a Best Buy or Verizon or Apple store that gives you such a credit to buy like the West. How again are my country’s people making this purchase?
I returned the iPhone to the person who gifted it to me and thanked them very much. I felt overwhelmed the whole time I had the phone and returning it felt like I was reclaiming my peace.
For me, an Android phone tells you not to put your status imagination on me — the conversation is over before it starts. When I buy an Android phone, it is mine. I transfer files, I download whatever and I connect with any phone or system (except IOS), that I want.
And if I don’t change the Android phone next year, who cares?
Thank you very much for reading. Bring it on — have I deeply insulted the iPhone for you?
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