Giving and Receiving Feedback by Enneagram Type
Feedback is an important part of the workplace, but not everyone gives or responds to feedback in the same way.
Because our personality traits affect how we interact with others, they also impact how we handle constructive criticism with our team. Understanding your personality type and how it relates to your feedback approach can help you build better connections with your coworkers and make sure you’re delivering an effective message.
Here is a glance into how each Enneagram type gives and receives feedback.
Ones
Giving Feedback
You often welcome the opportunity to give feedback. Your natural inclination to detect imperfections and want to fix them means that offering suggestions feels instinctive to you. You provide remarkably specific feedback. But you will want to pay attention to how you deliver the message. What feels honest and impartial to you may come across as overly critical to your coworkers. Be patient with your team when giving them feedback and don’t expect immediate change. Focusing on the positives instead of the negatives can help build your team’s confidence.
Receiving Feedback
You can be hard on yourself, so when you receive feedback from others it’s possible you might already be well aware of the shortcoming. Hearing positive feedback along with the negative is the most comfortable for you. You might be quick to dismiss the positives and focus instead on how you think you’re falling short, but it’s important for you to slow down and accept compliments too. Recognize that taking feedback personally is a choice. Rather than being offended when you don’t agree with the criticism, or the way it was delivered, you can choose to show humility and ask clarifying questions. When given clear, nonjudgmental feedback, you usually self-correct in a short period of time.
Twos
Giving Feedback
You have a deep concern for others and enjoy providing positive feedback. You like to make others feel appreciated and supported, and you celebrate the ways you see your coworkers succeeding. If you’re a people-pleaser, you may have a difficult time delivering negative feedback or stating criticism in a way that doesn’t undermine the significance of the message. When that happens, you tend to cushion your criticism by downplaying your concerns to gain approval. As you learn to honestly convey both your positive and negative thoughts, you usually do so with intrinsic warmth and sincerity, and the conversation often takes a mentoring or coaching approach. As a result, your team members feel accepted and encouraged.
Receiving Feedback
You love soaking up positive feedback from your team, but may have a hard time accepting criticism. You’re exceptionally perceptive towards the emotions of others, so when criticism is given in anger or resentment, it can be difficult for you to endure. In response, you may have an emotional outburst, especially if you feel rejected. You focus on relationships, so when you feel assured that someone’s feedback is coming out of a desire to help you grow, it’s easier for you to accept. Get comfortable defending your boundaries when recommendations don’t line up with your convictions. Saying no can be hard, but it’s less stressful if you’re able to have an open conversation with your team. Ask questions, explain your point of view, and advocate for your ideas.
Threes
Giving Feedback
You’re goal-oriented and find it easy to spot places where someone may or may not be meeting expectations. Motivating people to reach farther than they would otherwise comes naturally to you. Your feedback is practical, genuine, and candid. When necessary, you give tough feedback in order to solve organizational problems and push your team toward greater success. Your direct style of delivering feedback might be uncomfortable for some people, especially if you don’t allow room for discussion. Slowing down and approaching the conversation as a chance to connect with your team can help others receive your comments well. Offer gentle, yet honest thoughts, and stay open to dialogue. Recognize the emotions of others and how they might be impacted by your words.
Receiving Feedback
You may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, which means receiving feedback can be difficult for you if it exposes vulnerabilities. When you’re praised, you might wonder whether you’re truly appreciated for who you are or just your accomplishments. You want to feel valued for everything you bring to the table. Criticism can make you feel worthless and you might fear that you’re a fraud. At times, you might respond to this by doing more and trying harder to prove to yourself and others that you can be successful. Keep in mind that when someone gives you feedback, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s a chance for you to consider things from a different point of view and decide whether it’s something you should take action on. Your worth doesn’t come from success, so you don’t need to fear the opinions of others.
Fours
Giving Feedback
You are skilled at offering authentic and meaningful feedback to your colleagues. Your insightfulness allows you to get to the root of an issue quickly. You care for your team’s well-being and want to make sure your feedback is helpful and personal. It might be apparent in the feedback you give that you tend to focus on what’s missing more than what is present. Work through your emotions before initiating a conversation regarding feedback. Dealing with those feelings beforehand will allow you to have a more objective focus, while offering sincere empathy for your coworker.
Receiving Feedback
You can get wrapped up in your emotions at times. Hearing negative feedback can make that even worse. You often feel like you’re missing something within yourself and you compare yourself to others often. When you don’t feel controlled by others, you’re usually more willing to accept feedback and engage in discussion. You might feel misunderstood when coworkers criticize you, so it’s important that you’re open to talking about the issues to keep things clear. You may find it helpful to take some time to reflect after hearing feedback and work through any accompanying emotions before continuing the conversation.
Fives
Giving Feedback
You give objective, thoughtful, and perceptive feedback to your coworkers. Your suggestions are based on facts. Others may perceive your feedback style as withdrawn because it can be uncomfortable for you to discuss feedback face-to-face. You may avoid bringing personal information into the conversation and shrink back from emotional reactions. Getting used to open discussions helps you create stronger connections with your team. Express your thoughts honestly, address any relevant emotions, and be open to processing feedback with others. Use personal examples when applicable. You are a person of few words, so make sure you’re fully explaining your point of view in a way that allows others to understand. Don’t prioritize being concise over delivering a clear message.
Receiving Feedback
You focus on facts rather than feelings. You want to hear data to back up opinions, otherwise it’s difficult for you to take feedback seriously. Your independence means a lot to you, so you’ll be more receptive to feedback if it’s framed as a suggestion, rather than a requirement. You might appear detached from the conversation or you may need to withdraw afterward to get time alone to process. You’re usually reserved and you might not be inclined to share your own thoughts or feelings. It’s helpful when others ask you thoughtful questions to elicit a deeper response. Be willing to share more than what might feel comfortable in order to have a productive discussion.
Sixes
Giving Feedback
You are perceptive and trustworthy, which helps you give detailed and sincere feedback. Since you’re thorough, you usually spend a considerable amount of time preparing for the conversation beforehand. You can struggle with questioning your own feedback and worry about the accuracy of your opinions or how they might be received. This anxiety can cause you to over-prepare, and as a result, you may seem less calm and relaxed during the discussion. Instead, try to prepare just enough to offer helpful feedback and ask attentive questions. Focus on speaking with confidence, relaxing, and allowing the conversation to naturally run its course.
Receiving Feedback
You prefer spontaneous feedback. If a team member lets you know ahead of time this conversation is coming, you may plunge into a sea of worries. You tend to expect the worst, so you might assume your coworker only wants to reprimand you, or that you may lose your job entirely. On the other hand, impromptu feedback given in the moment doesn’t allow you time to entertain anxieties. If you’re a phobic Six, you may not be ready to respond to feedback right away, but would feel more comfortable expressing yourself in a followup message later. Or if you’re a counterphobic Six, you might react defensively. Remember to relax and stay in the moment so you can listen to your colleague’s comments. A strong negative reaction makes it less likely that your coworker will share feedback with you again in the future.
Sevens
Giving Feedback
You like to give casual, encouraging feedback to others. You don’t enjoy following a rigid structure for evaluating performance, but would rather approach it as a laidback conversation. You’re an optimist and that shows through the type of feedback you give. You focus on positives, and when it’s necessary to talk about the negatives, you like to put an upbeat spin on it. Your positivity can help make a difficult conversation easier, but you’ll want to make sure that your optimism doesn’t overshadow the message you’re trying to communicate.
Receiving Feedback
You enjoy receiving positive feedback, but might try to avoid the negatives. Your tendency to breeze past uncomfortable situations and reframe negatives as positives can make it difficult for you to accept criticism. It’s helpful when your coworkers encourage you to slow down and give your full attention to the conversation, so you don’t get sidetracked. Feedback that is direct and candid is easier for you to receive. You might need time to deal with difficult comments. Your team members may find it beneficial to check back in with you later to make sure the conversation was understood.
Eights
Giving Feedback
You give feedback as a natural part of your management style. If something doesn’t meet your expectations, or if a task is done exceptionally well, you address it before a performance review happens. Because you can come across as confrontational, you’ll want to pay attention to your tone of voice and body language when giving feedback. A friendly smile, encouraging nod, and patient listening can go a long way in making your coworkers feel comfortable. Make sure you deal with any anger before the conversation. Bringing that intense energy into a discussion is not likely to be received well by the other person.
Receiving Feedback
You are receptive to feedback when it’s direct, honest, and efficient. If you sense any blaming or manipulation, you’re more likely to dismiss the conversation and distrust the person giving the feedback. Since you’re vocal about your opinions, you’ll make it known if you disagree. It can be difficult for you to talk about your emotions, so you might not want to discuss how feedback is affecting you. When others ask you pointed questions, it can help you get in touch with your feelings so you better process the feedback.
Nines
Giving Feedback
You provide considerate feedback to your team. You have the ability to see things from many viewpoints, which helps you have empathy for differing opinions. Since you’re uncomfortable with confrontation, you may find yourself softening feedback or not directly addressing issues. Focus on speaking clearly even if it makes you uneasy because your team needs feedback in order to grow. Once you get past the discomfort, your reassuring nature helps you handle difficult topics with diplomacy and kindness. Deciding beforehand what to prioritize during the conversation helps you stay focused. Address one topic at a time and emphasize facts, not emotions.
Receiving Feedback
You tend to shrink back from confrontation, so if feedback is given aggressively, you’re going to be uncomfortable. You may avoid the situation or mentally tune out. When you begin to accept discomfort as a natural part of life, you’re less likely to evade criticism and you stand up for yourself when necessary. Give input and respectfully share your opinions on the topic, instead of quietly accepting what others tell you. If you feel overlooked, it can be helpful for your coworkers to ask for your thoughts and listen carefully so you feel understood. Feeling seen and accepted helps you build confidence.
Want to learn more about your personality type and figure out how to work better together with your team? Give us a follow on Instagram @myuserguide for more insights.
