The Art of Public Speaking in 2018.

I’m a great talker. No filters. At least with close peers. At some age in my childhood I was even called a chatterbox.

I text. A lot. I can even reply a one word text with three paragraphs of text.

But take me to a place full of strangers and it’s like my tongue has been cut out. I can barely even say hello. Not even to a pretty girl I’m crushing on or a prospective business partner.
So what do I do to not look a fool, avoid such places altogether and stick to my popcorn and 21” monitor screen watching movies at a wall shattering volume. It’s better that way.

Then something unexpected happened last year. I won a ticket to a talk show in one of Kampala’s high end happening spots. I didn’t ask for it. Neither did I intend to win. I even didn’t know I had won a ticket until the radio presenter announced that the person who had answered the daily trivia question right wins a ticket to this particular talk show. I had already sent my answer. And I won.

I’ve been to several events and a handful of talk shows. Actually almost none. This particular talk show is about entrepreneurship.

Being an entrepreneur I was sprung up on the opportunity. Networking, opening up about the business to potential partners, clients and a perfect chance to put my business on the map. It sounded like utopia. This was it. My shot to present my big idea to the world.

Once I told one of my guys: Daniel who’s like our social networking guru, all I could hear from him where words like go with lots of business cards, don’t keep to yourself; talk, talk and talk.
That pep talk was enough to have me pacing to and fro doing ABC to Z in anticipation of my great opportunity to present Avarc.

First things first. Dress the look. I had heard several complaints about my hair, that I needed to cut it to look good (which was in stark contrast to my vow the previous year that no shave 2017, probably even make dreadlocks: that’s a story for another day). But this was it. Not even a personal vow could come in between. I had to cut the CEO look, dress the CEO look. Time wasn’t on my side as the event was starting at 6:00pm. I hadn’t slept the previous night and neither had I had sleep during the day. Hair cut. Check. Dressing. Check. And most definitely ‘lots of business cards’. Check. I was ready. This is it.

I arrived late. Nonetheless I boldly went for a front row seat. Hardly had I chosen a seat, when I spotted an Avarc Apparel logo at the back of someone’s tee. Most definitely that’s an Avarc Tee. Awesome. This now felt like home. That, there, is my key to getting my mouth open. I definitely had to sit next to that guy. (Unfortunately, I don’t personally know all the Avarc clients. So this was another stranger added to the number of strangers in the room).
At least I felt I had somewhere to start from. I could feel it. That aura of victory. I’m going to nail it.

First speaker got on stage. Great talk. I kept nodding my head. That’s right. True. A round of applause. After a music interlude the second speaker came up on stage. My head was now spinning. I had to come up with a way to start talking because right after the second speaker would be the end of the event and the beginning of “the talk”. Whereas I’m a good conversationalist (so I’m led to think), I’m not really the guy that walks up to someone and starts a conversation.

“Fear is for the weak” I kept speaking to myself. This is my time to shine. Minutes later the last speaker was done and the music ensued. And yeah as expected, the MC told us to mingle and interact.

OMG. It’s like all the pep talk had fallen on deaf ears. I couldn’t even move an inch. The one guy I was counting on (the one wearing an Avarc Tee) had stealthily disappeared from the room. I was in one place with ideas just running through my mind. What do I say?

Hey, I’m Kevin. I’m a T-shirt designer.
Hello, I work at Avarc.
It’s an honor to meet you…erm, I’m from Avarc…we make awesome T-shirts.

Every idea I came up with sounded as stupid as the last one.

Meanwhile guys my age where interacting and taking photos with the people I only admired to stand next to. I’ve never felt so small. Even the few people I managed to speak to where just nodding their heads in agreement to everything I said instead of sustaining the conversation. Blame it on the loud music or perhaps I was speaking only gibberish.

To add salt to the wounds, I spotted some musician I had earlier worked with on a particular project and the gentleman couldn’t recognize me. Here I was standing in front of him dangling myself like a carrot taped on the head of a donkey and the best he could do was courteously smile and ask if I wanted to take a selfie. There was no time for cheap talk. A horde of fans were all over him, so I was just a fragment of his attention. It was a total disaster.

Luckily right away I saw that particular musician’s manager and I tasked myself to exert my presence or go home. Just as expected, he also never recalled me. I wasn’t going to give up this time. This is a make it or go home. My last chance to show up. ‘Hey, I’m Kevin. Avarc. the T-shirt guy. The ones you guys used at the other concert.’ (Given the way those particular Tshirts had left a fine impression). He couldn’t miss my last words.

“Ohhh!” He replied right away, “I had actually lost your number. I have lots of business for you this year.”

Schweet! I had arrived, sort of. You should have seen my smile from ear to ear. At least I could now go home. The fact that I made it through the night without failing to talk to at least one person was such a high for me.

That was a lesson learnt the hard way. Whatever I do next with the lessons learnt was entirely up-to me. Take one, keep avoiding such public gatherings so as to save myself from such humiliation.

Take two, fake it till I make it. Given my position as head of one of the fastest growing businesses, it’s like the choice has already been made for me. I don’t know where you stand, I do know you need to do this too. You never know when you’ll need it.
Forget all that talk that from your character you’re inherently predisposed to a certain temperament.

This era is aggressive, and attention has been commoditized. Only those who really want it, actually take it. And they take it by talking — sense. Can you make a pitch, a presentation or even a sales talk? You can’t hide behind your QWERTY keyboard forever. You’ll always need to make a personal connection and that’s best done with the traditional face to face meetings.

Unfortunately, there’s no school where they teach how to interact on a social gathering. And even if there was, you’d still have to put that theory into practice when you get to a social gathering.

This year is still young and that gives us an amazing opportunity to set deliberate goals and working towards achieving them. Speaking in public is one of those important skills everyone is supposed to be armed with. You can’t learn it in a day or a month. In fact, as the quote goes, the average person is better off in the casket than giving an eulogy. It’s a steep learning curve.

My only advice for you is to go out there, muster your fear and open your mouth. Hopefully one day you’ll master the art. If you believe you can, you will.