Day #2 Of Exhaustion. Not Sure What Is Going On?
January 27 — Maybe I should have gone to the workspace today. Coffee isn’t keeping me awake and I can’t believe how exhausted I am. In the afternoon I thought I would head over to hopefully gain energy from the others around me. After thinking about it more I was afraid I might not be able to make it there walking.
Everything that had to get done today got done. I took the calls I needed to and responded to emails I needed to. That was about it. Thinking about my weekend ahead I’m wondering how I’m going to get all this done. Should I wait until Monday? It’s going to have to wait until Monday.
I need time to rest which seems odd because I have been. The weekend is my mental time to rest. We’ll see how much my body needs it. I need to get into this habit. Plus, it will force me to really consider my time and what is important next week. Isn’t it just the way? You make a decision not to do something and then you’re almost immediately tested.
There was a pool party Thursday I didn’t attend. Being in a bathing suit isn’t my idea of a great fun so I knew ahead of time I wasn’t going. Last night it was dinner out at popular restaurant and I didn’t go. Dinner tonight was a bit of a downer. I was too exhausted to truly mind but I do miss the thought of hanging out and getting to know other people better. Plus, I heard the ceviche was amazing.
I’m reminding myself I have a long way to go. This is only the first stop of 12. Intentionality is key. I’m doing my best to really think about what I’m doing differently, what works, what doesn’t, what habits I might be forming. It is much easier to pick up bad habits than good habits. Mostly because bad habits require less thought and action. It is usually the absence of something or inaction we get used to.
While this year will be life changing. It won’t be something I’m doing for the rest of my life. I can’t pick up things that will hinder me when this is over. Have I already been doing too much? Working, writing, working out, meeting with people, dinners and drinks is all pretty normal. All in one day for me isn’t.
When I take a step back the interviewing and meeting with people takes the most energy out of me. Probably from the anxiety and/or excitement leading up to it. This is definitely something I’m not used to. Living in the city is also a change from the country.
I really like the city and walking everywhere. Could it have more of an effect on me than I realize? Is my body not used to so much activity above and beyond exercise. Not to mention carrying around my backpack. My shoulders are killing me. The hustle and bustle isn’t constant, but the times are definitely throwing me off.
Maybe it’s my dog. I miss him. He sleeps with me and keeps me company. He lays at my feet while I work and forces me to take breaks. He makes me laugh and loves me. I love him back.
Nobody really knows me here yet. Completely understandable. My daughter knows me. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. I know I miss her. Could I miss her to the point of exhaustion? Do I need to hear her giggle? Do I need to hug her? Do I need to listen to her tell me about her day, work, and school?
It’s probably not one thing. I’m sure it’s many things. Whatever it is I need to figure it out because I can’t keep having days like this. Too much needs to be done.
My end of day gratitude:
- I made it through my calls and didn’t have to reschedule.
- Another expert has joined my summit.
- I have a follow-up meeting with the speaker from the other night that I’m super excited about.