I Want To Look Like A Rockette. Is That Too Much?
January 22 — On my walk to the Recoleta yesterday I noticed stairs on a very large building with pillars. I had seen them before but not taken notice. Suddenly I found myself inspired to run. This morning that is exactly what I did. It’s been some time since I’ve ran and hadn’t wanted to again until seeing this steps.
From my apartment it is 2.9 miles then I ran up and down the steps 14 times (for each column). I really killed it on the steps and it felt great. For a moment I thought about doing it again until I realized I still had to run back home. Well, run/walk.
I’m more out of shape than I have been in a long time. Probably ever in my life. Something I’ve been painfully aware of as pool parties and beach trips are being planned. I take full responsibility and know I haven’t let myself go far enough to take drastic measures. However, measures do need to be taken.
This afternoon I’m hosting a pool party at my apartment. It is definitely pulling me out of my comfort zone on many levels. The first being it gives me anxiety to host. Making sure everyone is having a good time and their needs are met stresses me out. Meanwhile my sister could whip up a party for 100 people without breaking a sweat. She’s effortless in her ability to not only make others feel at home but enjoy the party herself.
This is what it is to have friends and girlfriends over. To create friendships and enjoy sunny afternoons with others. I did my part and went shopping for snacks and made a simple pasta dish. I opened my apartment and pool for others to enjoy and they did.
For the first time I let it go. I’m not in charge of anyone else’s happiness or excitement. If they aren’t comfortable it’s something they’ll have to work out on their own. I think it went well. One of the other girls also brought snacks and made sangria. It was relaxing and a few others dropped by later. This is something I could definitely do again. More importantly, something I enjoyed.
Wearing a bathing suit made me uncomfortable. I don’t wear them often. You can’t hide anything in a bikini. Then I thought about something another Roamer said and repeatedly says, “I don’t believe in a bikini body. Anyone can wear a bikini.” She’s right.
It used to be you were bombarded by twenty somethings in bathing suits. Well, those days are over for sure. The images to keep up with just keep getting older though. Heidi Klum is 43. Gwen Stefani is 47. Jane Fonda is 79 and looks amazing! I’m feeling the pressure to look younger and be more in shape the older I get. This coming from a person that doesn’t have TV, doesn’t watch the news, and doesn’t subscribe to gossip magazines. It’s everywhere though.
So here I stand in the mirror. No six pack. No beach body abs or butt. I can’t possibly hold my stomach in all day. I will need to be careful not to slouch because that creates belly rolls. These are things I think of when there is so much more to be thought about. Running those steps made me feel like Rocky. Why don’t I look like a Rockette?
The pool wasn’t crowded when we arrived but it filled up as the day went on. I noticed other women in very tiny bikinis (that’s the style here) were completely unapologetic about their bodies. They were so comfortable. I took off my shorts once to get in the water and then quickly got a towel to cover myself afterwards. I wonder what makes a person so comfortable in their own skin. Are they fooling me?
All in all, it’s been a good day. I was reminded of Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give. Her character finally enjoys the company of a man after many years and she says, “So this is what you’re supposed to do on a rainy afternoon, huh?” I would say, So this is what you’re supposed to do on a sunny Sunday afternoon, huh? It’s a far cry from working.
My end of day gratitude:
- Killing the stairs.
- An afternoon with new friends.
- Feeling good and ready to get started on Monday.
