Why Is It That I Get Migraines At The Worst Times?

June 24 — I should be celebrating today. It’s my mom’s birthday. I’m excited for her to open her gift. The thought of not seeing her face is also sad. I wish I were there to be part of the celebration. I could have asked to video chat but I’m not looking good these days and don’t want her to worry about me. Also, one look at her and I know I would burst into tears.

There are times I fight and pursue what I want like a gladiator. Then there are times I retreat and long for the comfort of my childhood. My mother’s loving touch, how she brushes my hair, prepares me sweet tea, and takes care of me as though I’m a little girl take me back to my childhood all over again. I’m thankful. Growing up was full of hardship, but never once did I question the unconditional love of my parents. Thinking of them is my safe place.

I miss having a safe place. I don’t feel it lately at all. Certainly I don’t feel like myself. Along with all the other stuff going on in my life today I have a migraine. Of all the days to get a migraine now is not the time. Why couldn’t I get it on any of the many days I didn’t have plans? Tonight I didn’t just have plans I had amazing plans to have cocktails with some of the female Roamers in the group. Having to bail on something I’ve been looking forward to is very hard.

What’s worse is I think the invitation was an attempt to make me feel better. I’ve only told a few people what has been going on. The other night at the party I think some of the girls noticed and wanted to help. Maybe they had pity on me. I don’t know and don’t care. It was so nice to be invited and feel cared for. Then I get a migraine and the thrill is gone.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I have plans again with my friend and not only do I not want to cancel but I already purchased the tickets.

My end of gratitude:

  1. My mom received her gift and liked it.
  2. My Roamer family who wanted to do something nice for me.
  3. Migraine medicine.

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