My Journey to Yoga
Since my teenage years I was always the intense gym person that would be there 4 times a week without exception. I have never really enjoyed the fitness area or running but I was always into collective classes, the harder the better. My favourites used to be Spinning classes which I would combine with some other lower body intense class or body pump. This is how I would stay in shape and feel good, or at least that’s what I thought. It is true that I frequently had very stiff back, cervical pain and other sufferings that I would just ignore because I needed my workouts to feel sane.
Then came the pandemic and the confinement which meant that the gym was not an option anymore so I would do around 1.5 hours of home workout daily to compensate. But months of home workout can become weary so when the gyms opened I was consistently there again even though running with a mask was pretty unbearable.
In January 2021 it was announced that gyms would close again and I was close to maddening. Then one of my friends told me the yoga studio she was going to would continue its activity because it wasn’t qualified as a sports center. So at that precise moment I said ok, maybe it is time for me to try yoga, at least to have some physical activity that is not at home and offers me a change of scenery.
I was conscious that yoga might not be for me, I had been told by close friends that I would never withstand a yoga class as I would get bored. Even though I normally enjoyed very active classes I said I would give it a try at least until the gyms opened again.
I started going to the yoga studio 4 times a week and I enjoyed it so much that when the gyms opened I just continued. Since then I have been constantly going twice a week to yoga and twice to the gym, alternating the two very different activities. I found a certain balance in this way but with time, I noticed that yoga was my main focus and the activity I was looking forward the most.
Since this year I am also doing home yoga practice, participating to retreats and I am even planning to do a yoga teacher training next year. All of this interest in yoga has developed in me due to the impressive changes I have been noticing within me during these years and to the aspiration to take these changes to a higher level.
Breathing
From my first yoga classes I would go out feeling like I was breathing for the first time.
I think it is not only me that has a standard shallow breathing, literally holds her breath in certain moments or forgets to breathe in others.
Breathing was never on my mind before discovering yoga, but then I observed the difference of deep breathing, to the stomach. I was in awe to discover something within me, that no one could take away, that could instantly calm me and have direct effect over my whole body and nervous system.
Starting to become more interested in this topic I also found that there are breathing techniques for so many purposes not just calming down but for raising energy or even relieving pain.
It still happens to me now when I practice yoga after some time of no practice, to feel like I am taller and that my lungs are truly filling up again.
Distance from my thoughts
This one was a game changer for me. Back when I started yoga I was having some trouble in my relationship so my head was going in circles about what he said, what I said, what I should have said, what I should have not said, etc.
Already in the first yoga class, the teacher invited us to focus on our breathing, to let thoughts pass in our heads like clouds and to observe them without judging. Doing this made me become conscious of my circling thoughts and create the intention to let them go. Of course this is easier said than done but being conscious of something is the first step in dealing with it.
Since then I have progressively learnt how to take distance from my thoughts, to say “stop” when I don’t want to put my attention and consequently my energy on something and to go about my life living more presently and happily.
Body consciousness
This is probably a no brainer when it comes to yoga but “body consciousness” can also be a relative term that we do not necessarily comprehend.
For me specifically, apart from being more “embodied”, moving my body in a controlled way and being aware of the body parts that become activated in each asana, even more precious learning has been listening to my body.
We inhabit our bodies for our entire lives but that does not necessarily mean that we are connected to them, that we listen to what they say. Our bodies speak to us and send us signals related to our emotional well-being and to the life situations that we are in. We have become very used to popping an Ibuprofen every time we have a small ache and going on with our lives instead of trying to understand the meaning behind our body signals and making actual changes in our lives.
I used to be the Ibuprofen-popping person that would push her body to do more and more every time without understanding my daily circumstances and my body’s needs. In yoga it was the first time I heard that our bodies are different every day and that our practice is as well, that we do not need to push ourselves to reach the same asanas every time and to exceed them when our body says no.
I still feel guilty when I have to give up practice to recover from some affliction, but the thing is if you don’t listen to your body it will just keep on sending you signals until you cannot ignore it anymore.
Life philosophy
I am not sure whether I had an established life philosophy before but it was definitely more inclined towards the materialistic world for sure. In other words it can also be said that I used to be more connected to my masculine side while now I am more connected to my feminine one.
By distancing myself from my thoughts first, my fears and my opinions, I learnt not to identify with them and eventually I felt much freer and more at peace. From there on at some point I realized that my identity is also not linked to the material world, to my appearance or to my belongings and I learnt to appreciate another side of life.
Once you do this, the glasses though which you understand life, situations and people completely change. Letting go of the supremacy of the material world can reduce “suffering” immensely as you finally see the material world as not the end goal but as a means to an end, and that for me is peace of mind and love towards myself and others.
