Whatever You Do, Don’t Think About a Red Balloon. Ok?
Eliminate negative thoughts and win back control with this simple technique.
Are you still thinking about it?
Don’t worry, it’s normal. You see, we’re only capable of thinking of one thing at any one time. It’s confusing, but by thinking of not thinking of something, you’re still thinking of something.
Still with me?
Good.
Make a Choice
The point is that we can actively choose what we think about at any given time. If something is bothering and niggling away at you, create a distraction. Choose a thought that sends your attention elsewhere.
We spend so much time and energy, worrying, and getting anxious over the smallest of things, but by deciding not to engage in negative thoughts, we can divert the focus to another place and move on. This process has a name. It’s called ‘cognitive displacement’, and it’s genius.
Instead of letting our emotions take over, we stay in control of what we actually have control over, and this is important.
Control the Controllable
Of course, I’m not suggesting that we wear rose-tinted glasses, floating by in a world where we flat-out refuse to think of anything imperfect.
There are times where we need to recognize the negatives because this is often the kick that positive change requires. But when something’s out of your hands, it’s generally not helpful putting too much thought into it so, accept it for what it is, divert the attention, move on and win back control.
It takes time, but eventually, this is a skill that can be learned and is habitual. Make that your aim.
Real-World Examples
It’s easy to forget how occupied we can become with thoughts outside of our influence.
If we’re not second-guessing why there are two blue ticks next to your most recent Whatsapp, but hours later and there’s still no sign of a reply, then we’re wondering why someone looked at us in a certain way.
Maybe, we got rejected for a date. Maybe we’re falling behind a sales target at work, or perhaps you’re worried about the impact a worldwide epidemic will have on your future.
Whatever it is, the reality is that there could be any number of reasons for these thoughts, but regardless of what we imagine and conjure up, playing it out on loop in your mind, probably isn’t going to have the positive effect you crave.
The key is, to only aim to take care of what you can have influence over.
The Technique
When someone gives you the all well-meaning, yet often unhelpful advice of “just don’t think about it”, make it your objective to have something else ready to occupy your mind.
The simplest thing I can think of is focusing on your breath. Pay attention to the rise and fall, counting up to ten — one as you inhale, two as you exhale, and so on. Once you get to ten, start over. Repeat this cycle just a couple of times through, and you’ll notice the difference. You’ll have likely already lost the original, and unhelpful, train of thought.
Now, I enjoy meditation, so this is something that appeals to me. If it’s not for you think of something else. The only motivation is to move away from the unhelpful story in our mind. Sing your favourite song, recite the alphabet backwards, do whatever you need to do to break the negative thought cycle, if it does that, it’s worked.
Final Thought
Once we own our thoughts, we own our actions. We can focus, on the only thing we have control over, which is ourself.
Thanks for reading,
— Dave
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