A Lot of Patience, Love, and even more Communication.

We met at a dinner and a play. It was a fundraiser and I was tasked with decorating the “lunch room” into a castle/medieval theme and in the evening, to meet and greet. He was there with someone else and to be honest, I didn’t pay too much attention. It was my first few months at a new job and I was still working on putting names to faces. He came to my place of work the next day and we talked.

He certainly isn’t my usual type. I go for big, beefy types, a man that can pick me up, and he is tall and lean, a runner. There is an amazing sense of humor and he dances. Yes, you read that right, he dances. Not night club dancing, but two-step and other partner types of dances. And, the piece de resistance, he is intelligent. That was the cherry on the top of the ice cream mountain, he was smart and that is sexy as fuck!

We talked, laughed, hung out, and learned things about each other. We became friends and later lovers. It was a wonderful romance.

Five and a half years ago, we began a long distance romance. While it wasn’t easy, we managed to see each other at least once or twice a year and spoke via Skype or phone once or twice a week. He came to see me first and before I could reciprocate, he moved from six states away to four. With our schedules and my lack of funds, it was a challenge to meet face to face.

Three years ago, I began to unravel. I needed more. More time touching, feeling, seeing, and loving. I felt he did nothing to perpetuate “US” in this relationship. I went to see him the last time and it wasn’t a good visit. He thought that I was pressuring him into a marriage,. Umm, no. Then he said, “Well, other women I have been with this long have wanted to get married.” Yeah…big fucking red flag…WTAF? I am not other women and if you think that, you have no idea who the fuck I am!

It took all week to get that knot ironed out. Me on the couch and he in his room. I couldn’t believe it. I took the train home a bit heart broken.

We stayed together for a few more months. Communication was lackluster and strained. He asked me to a family wedding and we discussed the schedule and meeting place. I bought the cheapest plane ticket and we figured everything out. As it got closer to the event, thing still weren’t feeling right. I broke up with him feeling he really didn’t care about me or us.

He said I was making a mistake. No, I said. You treat me as an after thought. I am more than that. I asked him to leave me alone for a bit. He said he would.

He called a couple of days later and we talked. I explained everything I was feeling. Everything, no holds barred. He thought everything was fine, nothing had changed for him. He loves me. I asked him if he could possibly be on the spectrum. The signs are all there…and so he kept calling…

…Two and a half years and he finally came to visit. Two and a half years and he never gave up and it took two and a half years of talking, patience, and genuine affection that is turning into so much love.