All of the Places I Have Cried
In a movie theater watching CoCo, when my ex boyfriend held & kissed my hand and I knew right then and there that I was in love with him.
In my car, driving my best friend to a psychiatric ward because she told me she wanted to kill herself.
In front of the mirror, when for the first time I saw my reflection and felt love for myself.
In my backyard, when I found out my first boyfriend died in a car accident.
In a hospital in Tanzania, Africa when the reality of my white privilege hit me for the first time.
At the lunch tables in middle school, eating lunch alone because I felt like I would never have any friends.
In the back of an ambulance when I worked an an EMT and I responded to my first suicide attempt…and they did not make it.
In my ex boyfriend’s kitchen, when I was finally honest with him about my insecurities, feelings, doubts, and fears about our relationship.
In a CVS bathroom, when I had a pregnancy scare.
In my room, when I first discovered my boss’ podcast (The Angry Therapist) and felt hopeful for the future.
On the toilet in my ex boyfriend’s bathroom, when I knew our relationship was over.
In my dad’s room, when I finally had the courage to tell my parents that I don’t want to become a nurse.
On Sunset Blvd, when I found out my ex replaced me overnight.
In the bathroom at the hospital I was working at because when my patient’s were driving me crazy.
In a taxi cab in Africa, leaving behind all the best friends and memories I made there.
On my friend’s couch, when she told me she was raped the night before and refused to go to the police because she was afraid of what they would say or think.
Walking to my car, after catching up with a girl I used to call my best friend because I knew our friendship would never be the same again.
On the 405 freeway sobbing, punching my steering wheel, screaming, “NO! WHY?! IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR!!!” after I found out the truth about the person my ex really is.
At a Golden Globes after party, when news broke out that David Bowie died.
At an animal shelter, when I rescued my two cats an hour before they got euthanized.
On my therapist’s couch, when she told me I was in a relationship with a Narcissist and what happened was not my fault.
At Abercrombie & Fitch, when the manager pulled me aside and told me she doesn’t want me working in the front of the store because I’m “not pretty enough”.
In front of my vinyl player, when I listened to the band Daughter for the first time.
In a grocery store, when I had my first panic attack.
At my computer, when I finished writing my first screenplay.
In my nursing class on the first day of school because I felt trapped earning a degree I wasn’t passionate about.
At a coffee shop, when a director’s assistant told me “you will never make it as a writer in the entertainment industry”.
On the phone with an Executive from Netflix, when he told me I have an incredible voice.
In some dude’s bed, after the first time I had sex after my break up.
At the dinner table, when my dad told me I’m making a mistake by not becoming a nurse.
On the beach, when I realized how happy and lucky I am to be alive right now.
Right fucking now. At my desk writing this. Because I’m on my period and had a shit sleep last night.
