Exercise #1
Part 1. How I’m feeling.
Hypercaffeinated. Frustrated with: The technology in my life. My slowed down iPhone. Apps that promise free downloads of top movies and can’t put sound with picture. Two separate branches of my family — the direct result of a lack of communication. Mercury in retrograde. When Mercury gets like this, communications among other things break down. Electronics get fucked up. Certain relationships go dark, while others grow strangely bigger and brighter. So no surprise that there was a disconnect with two entire family segments right at Easter/Passover. Which for many people — and for me in the past — is usually time of gathering together. No calls no texts. No nothing. No shit. Of course you could say, hey girl what about you? Why weren’t you the one making the move?
Why? Because I’m always the one making the move. So this year I didn’t and there you go. I did send a carefully worded text to a couple of family, expressing my feelings and got back some predictable argument. And lobbed back a response. But you know how some texts say “Delivered” at the bottom only you feel instantly ghosted?
But then Mercury can be a real ball buster when he’s retrograde. And I don’t know if Mercury makes it worse in Florida, the way mold and pollen seem worse in Florida but Florida is where these family breakdowns happened. Where it’s all orange juice and sunshine and theme parks breakdowns still happen.
On the plus side. I ate at my neighbors’ last night and had homemade creme brulee and hazelnut coffee for dessert. This Easter morning I taught Yoga. And it was gratifying. Though like the meme with the fluffy Persian cat in the Yoga class, I still wanted to kill somebody. When you love certain people — even the ones you’re related to — and the words that might have moved something forward between you fall down into one of our infamous Florida sinkholes, the sensation is stupefying.
Part 2. How I feel now.
So Mercury aggravates this kind of nonsense and the way I like to proceed until this retrograde thing blows through and he turns direct again usually is the Zen way. The way of keep my head down and focus on what needs to be done right now. He’s just testing me to see if I can stay steady or lose my cool. A no BS planet will do this. But if I lost my cool every retrograde, given there are like three such periods per year, I wouldn’t be venting this now. I would have fallen through a sinkhole way back.
Feeling better. Clearer. Calmer. Smoother.
