Letter to My Anxious Self: You Are Worthy Of Your Own Love

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Dear You,

You are brave. You’ve taken some pretty big chances lately and you’re growing from all of it. I’m amazed at the amount of change and growth you’ve gone through these last few months! That life coaching course you signed up for has been way more than you ever thought you’d experience so far. You’re finding your voice. You’re meeting people who are like-minded. You’re writing way more than you ever have before. You’ve even written a couple of poems that you didn’t know you had in you. And you found a new outlet for your creativity on Instagram. And you’re still coming up with new ideas for your self-expression. You have such a better sense of self and direction in your life right now. I am so proud of you. You are amazing.

As great as things mostly are, I see you’re stuck on an issue that seems to be weighing down your heart. You’re having a lot of trouble letting go. I sense a lot of fear. You have a difficult time letting go because you need to let go of where all this began. And without it, you feel untethered. Like you don’t have a foundation. It’s scary. But I see you give up your power every time you try to maintain the situation. I feel another stone dropping down to the bottom of your heart every time you reach for what you’ve lost. Every time you seek relief from the source of the pain.

In the spirit of self-love, which you often encourage others to cultivate, I’m going to tell you that remaining in the status quo is not an act of self-love. It’s actually self-harm. I know you want to take him with you, but I don’t think he wants to come with you on your journey. At least not as your partner. There are some people you can’t take forward with you because they are moving at a slower pace than you are in their own journey. And you just have to let them be. Wish them well and let them be. He has things to work out on his own. You still love him, and I know you always will. If you end up being in step with one another again, then it will be a happy surprise, but you can’t force that. Until then…

Look to the present, dear girl. You are worthy of your own love. You focused so much of that love on him that you forgot to shine the light on yourself. And you need plenty of that light right now. There is a lot to unpack in the present and a lot to put into order. A lot of beautiful things surrounding you. And plenty of possibilities. You need your love for yourself so you can be a strong, and beautiful container for life. Focus that light on you. Things will work out anyway.

Do not worry. He will come back if your story truly isn’t finished.