Missing Someone You Shouldn’t Missed

I bet you know the feeling.

It could be an old fling that you should forget, because now you’re in a serious relationship w/ someone else.

It could be a jerk that doesn’t deserve any mm space in your brain.

It could be a gold digger that your friends would never understand why you even like her.

And you can add the list by replying this thread…if you’d like to.

Trying to be logic and find reasons not to miss them won’t work. Emotion and rationale thinking work in a different brain system.

You can’t contact ‘that person’. Pros and cons speaking, the cons will definitely shine. And you’re tired of making stupid choice. Especially for a sudden “I miss you” moment. It might gone tomorrow anyway.

It might be gone indeed. Problems averted.

It could also lead to an alternative scenario. This feeling is an energy. When you suppress it and it got stronger, Idk how, it could reach your thinking system and then the next thing you know, you rationalize the behavior of contacting “that person”. In the name of “I miss you”.

Assertiveness is often used to justify the action.

I just want to express my feelings

Is it always better to be honest with ourselves?

In theory, being assertive is the best to communicate your feelings. It’s true when the comparison is being passive or aggressive.

However

Communicating feelings always have consequences. And no matter how mature and assertive you address it, you will never able to control people’s reaction/acceptance.

They’re only human after all. We’re only human after all.

When you told those forbidden people that you miss them, it could go well. But there’s always risk that you lose your pride, and they’re proud because they somehow “win”. Or any other consequences, depends on the context of the situation. (Write on my thread please :) )

There’s a quote from How I Met Your Mother that I really like.

Just because something needs to be said, doesn’t mean that it needs to be heard

In the end you need to learn which feelings needs to be addressed to a particular person, which feelings should be kept only to yourself, and which feelings urgently needs to be addressed….but definitely not to that particular person. Address it somewhere else.

A certain strong feeling just can’t be kept by yourself. So say it people! Throw that energy somewhere else!

Talk to an empty chair. Sounds crazy, but it’s one of a method.

or

Talk to your friends that you need to vent. That you’re not asking their suggestions whether you should text the forbidden person or not. Because you know they’ll say no. But vent it to them.

or

Write it into a novel.

or

Write a post about missing a forbidden person.

The list could go on.

And I decided to embrace this melancholiness rather than denying it, in the most possible responsible way.

Xoxo