Oh deer. Death when you’re a kid.
How a deer, Vulcan and alien introduced me to loss
Death is weird.
If there’s one thing I’ve figured out since joining Mylestoned, it’s that we all experience it a bit differently. Truly. I’ve spoken to some 50+ adults, and some are ready to open up and look back fondly within weeks of the loss of a loved one and some cannot consider it for many (many) years. It truly has been a learning process.*
I have thought and felt more elements of death over the last month than I have in 40+ years. Now, that’s not to suggest that I haven’t experienced personal loss; I have. Over the last handful of years, I’ve lost my dad and a very close aunt and uncle, amongst others. Loss has been real for me. Loss has been hard. I’ve felt it and definitely shed a tear or two.
Inevitably all this talk of loss has given me new perspective and allowed me to really reflect on it. Mostly on how loss has personally shaped me. And that reflecting has me looking back to the pivotal (at least for me) year 1982. Why 1982? Well, that’s the year that I met death.
Let me explain. Over the course of those 365 days, I managed to experience the loss of one deer, a Vulcan and an alien and it hurt. Before 1982 and seeing Bambi’s mom get shot, Spock die tragically saving the Enterprise crew and E.T.** get all chalky and gray on an operating table I never really noticed loss. But there it was right in front of me on the silver screen for my small boy mind to try and comprehend. It hurt badly.
Yes, it’s weird, but to this day, these three celluloid losses (great name for a band?) were the foundation of loss in my life. They made me realize that loss was real and is going to eventually happen to all of us. Yes, I probably cried a bit, but this was an important step in my development. Granted I probably didn’t realize it at the time, but I think these types of experiences truly helped me (and you?) appreciate the greater good of humanity.
As time moved on and I experienced the real loss of friends and family, it’s 1982 that I find myself looking back at as a milestone (pun intended) that shaped my development. It was clear that things would be a bit different. Things would be more real. It’s this point, way back then, that helped me begin the process of dealing with loss.
How did you first experience loss? And, more importantly, how did you cope with it?
* Speaking of which I’d love to chat with anyone and everyone about how you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one. Leave a comment and I’ll follow-up. And learn more here.
** Yes I know E.T. survives and lives happily ever after. Phoooone home!
