The Angel Of Dog Death
Happy Ending? Not All Stories End In Such A Way.
Based on a true story.
[It has been a month since she passed away and since this writing. But she was a beautiful soul.]
Originally, I wasn’t going to include any photos in this. But I left this sitting in Drafts, determining whether I wanted you all to know of my actions, and if you could ever, find it in your heart to forgive my selfishness, for this beautiful dog’s soul.
I wish I could choose the endings. I wish they could be happy. I wish I could make everyone happy. Unfortunately, the universe was designed in a way where it is simply the balance of good and bad. Sometimes, things that seem bad are not bad at all, simply just not good. Good happens and bad happens. That is all a part of life.
I wish I could win every battle and every round that life threw at me. If I can win the one with the primary narrative, then that feels like winning. If I do not get sidetracked away from where I thought I should be or wanted to be. Only it seems I’ve been in the right place at the right time for much of my life.
Life has a crazy way of working out and while I will not reveal every single detail in this story, I will say that sometimes life puts you in situations that escalate. I was presented with a challenge when I arrived to care for my father. I will not share the location of the story and all I can say is that it had to do with the neighbors from a small mountain town and their dogs who were never gated nor leashed.
This town was mountainous in one of the Carolinas and everything was quite distant from each other. I’d arrived to take care of my father as he was losing his ability to walk. Several days later, several dogs from the neighbors’ house came up from a long driveway, but unfortunately, we lived on open road, which could be a dangerous place for people and animals alike, as through-traffic was speedy giving the nickname, the “highway of death” for pets. Sad, I know. Sometimes life and mankind can be cruel with the way they built the passage of a road and how close we are to our roads.
It is not too often that you saw anything dead on the road, but unfortunately, there would be spouts of people speeding and hitting someone’s pet or just a random animal trying to make its way across a semi-busy highway. I could not in good conscious tell you that this is an easy story to write or read, because if you love puppies… life is not always kind to any of us, not humans, nor animals. We all face some kind of suffering and trying to make it in our lives.
I called her Mama. Because that was her purpose in this life, to be a Mama to two litters… some adopted, some ran away never to be seen again, and some were killed. That’s just part of life in this mountain town. Mama raised another litter and that’s when I arrived, an Angel of Dog Death.
The litter was six total, two parents, and four puppies this time. For a time, they would come up to visit from the neighbor’s place. I went down to see if the neighbor would claim them and prevent them from coming up, as it was a dangerous road. The neighbors lived in a sort of steep ditch that you had to walk down, and with each step, it just feels like you don’t belong there. Some places on Earth… you just don’t go. You can’t go. And you can’t be there for too long. You can’t explain it, but just continue on with your own life, no matter what.
I didn’t want to go down there, but I decided I had to as the dogs kept coming up everyday and there was no fence. The dogs themselves were lovely and very friendly. How bad could it be down there with these lovely dogs coming from there? But unfortunately, the neighbors were not as friendly as this litter of pups and would not speak with me when I tried multiple times to catch them for a conversation. It was as if they were purposely avoiding me and I could not tell if the dogs were spayed and neutered, but since they were this wild and free, I knew they could not have been. When I checked, only two of them were of mature age to reproduce, so I had to wait.
Having the dogs come up day after day was a blessing and a pleasure for me, as I had been going through things in my own life, but it was also terrifying due to the dangerous road I was living on. But these dogs loved the freedom of being able to run around without restriction. Everyday, I’d pull out a bag of dog food and give them a share. Sometimes I would buy them treats. Other times, I’d cook something and throw them all the extras or leftovers. I’m sure those dogs had a good time with me.
I had to leave and head home, back to my home state, to take care of some business. My father had recovered enough to use a walker before I left. While I was gone, I had been alerted by my father that one of the puppies was hit and killed by a car. As my dad was unable to walk well, the neighbors checked in with my father and updated him. The neighbors got together and buried the puppy together.
As I returned, just a few weeks later, one of the parents, a dog we nicknamed “Petey”, as he looked like the dog from the Little Rascals, was also hit by a car — ironically, by a woman who was trying to get to church. To hit and kill a dog, she was likely doing 45-55 mph in a 35 mph zone, though the lower mileage can still be strong enough force to damage a dog running across the street. Putting them out of their misery, if they are still breathing, is just as painful as having to go the extra step to kill them. It is a strike on the soul every time. And it hurts.
When you’re a gun owner, but not a hunter, you know when you need to use a gun, and you can pull the trigger. Many people struggle with that… I’ve never ended a life before… but it scares me to know what it feels like to have to make the call. The remaining puppies were adopted by the neighbors and their friends. My promise was to take care of the mother, Mama.
Knowing she needed a spay, I warped to action. The date was set and during our two-month wait, I spoiled her with peanut butter and eggs and anything I could find. We went on walks and even got into some trouble with some wolves who were running through the area that forced me to pick her up and carry her away, as if I was her prince charming, helping her to escape and preventing an attack that would have very likely mortally wounded us both.
Fortunately, I managed to fend off two wolves, with no weapons, and it was just me and her, and both of us keeping our eyes at the the potential threat, while holding her and trying to prevent her from instigating. I was not going to let anything happen to Mama. The beasts were ready for a fight in all of us, but I had chosen flight while keeping a modest pose, never turning my back at the wolves, but walking slowly backwards, carrying a 40 to 50 pound dog. And she and I hightailed it out of that part of the woods.
I’d taken her for her first car ride too, to the gas station, to get her used to driving in a car with me. She sat like a well-behaved adult right next to me, looking out of the window, as if it meant something to her, yet it only meant that she could get away and spend time with me while her human kids were at school. She’d sit on my porch, waiting for them to come home when they did, she and I parted ways for the rest of the day.
Before this time, she had always been looking after her puppies, but once they were all gone, she fully adopted the human kids. She never seemed to want to be down at her home during the day, just visiting me and waiting for her children to return home. I was boring and didn’t do much, but she didn’t mind the company, and I didn’t mind her company. I’d sit on the porch and rub her belly or throw a stick, or feed her some snacks, and throw her a nice bone once in a while, and I always talked to her like she was someone who wanted to listen to the crazy things I had to say.
The day of her spay had come and I could not find her anywhere for two hours, with her finally coming up to see me. We went for what would be our final walk. And then a car ride. I wish I’d known it then. I’d taken her on her final adventure. To get spayed. She was scared. I knew it. But I just thought it was because any dog senses what goes on at the vet. They know. She seemed to know something that I didn’t. I assured her she would be okay, safe in my hands.
With enough time to make her feel comfortable and hugging her, she was on her way to get spayed. They would keep her overnight and the next day, she was returned to me, in seemingly very good condition. She was scared, at first, but then, in her way, she ran to me and hugged me and even excitedly nervously peed. She was spayed and in good health, though they did leave me with a few days of a pain killer for her, which I gave to her.
After I brought her home, I told her to stay with me or at least come back up from the pit when she was hungry or felt any mild pains. I know a dog couldn’t possibly understand it, but I tried to feed her with my best goodies and sent her on her way. It was only two days later. She seemed fine, a happy dog, as she always was. I gave her the pain pills and as usual, the school bus came and she went to accompany her kids on the walk down to their home. But I never thought that it would be the last time I’d see her on this Earth, as once she went back down, she never came back up.
It took me many weeks to understand that I served as an Angel of Death for this dog, at first trying to give her puppies better homes, and knowing that spaying her was the right thing to do, but even in my best efforts to help her live a long and healthy life as a dog, to give her the freedom of not having to raise a third litter of puppies, I ended up being unable to fully keep an eye on her every move, and ultimately, piecing together the reason she did not come back up from the pit. By the time I had learned of what happened, it was too late. I did not go out for many days or speak to anyone and cried my eyes out.
Mama was an angel and a beautiful soul for everyone that crossed her path, bringing in two litters on to this Earth. She loved peanut butter and hard boiled eggs and chewing on a bone every once in a while. Mama was tough on her babies, strict and keeping them in line, but they carry a piece of her good nature in them. She will be forever missed by the few humans who crossed her path.
Mama is survived by two puppies, a male and female, who were both adopted and spayed and neutered. These two puppies are thriving in very good homes with very loving families. The male puppy was adopted by a local sheriff and joins his family of several children and four other dogs. The female puppy was adopted by a couple who owns a farm, several dogs, and multiple farm animals.
