Ted Lasso Taught Me Why Women Don’t Go for Nice Guys

Elad Simchayoff
Published in
4 min readAug 15, 2021

Disclaimer: The author is a self-proclaimed nice guy

Ted Lasso. Photo: AppleTV

At first, it was exciting. Committing myself to something nice, pure, and wholesome felt good for a change. I was coming out of several long-term relationships with partners who were the complete opposite. You know the type: “Ozark”-“Better Call Saul”-“The Walking Dead” kind of show that is full of murder, betrayal, and burner phones. I’m not even mentioning my mythological exes, “The Sopranos” and “Breaking Bad” with their complex and deeply flawed men. I had a very clear type, I was moving from one show you wouldn’t want to introduce to your mother to the next.

Then came coach Ted Lasso, with his folksy humor, positive spirit, and homemade cookies. He came in a period in which I needed some good in my life. A global pandemic and international economic crisis are too much sinister for a person to handle. Lasso was clean fun and I enjoyed spending time with him. He made me feel better about the world and about myself.

As time passed, I started realizing that this relationship was not all I made it out to be. The novelty wore off and I found myself seeking a bit of tension and drama. I mean, promoting positive messages and hanging a “Believe” sign is nice, don’t get me wrong, but for fuck sakes coach, show some emotion. Your team is losing; flip a table, punch a wall, shout some real curse words, DO SOMETHING. Let me see that you care.

Lasso is not television's first ‘nice guy’, and “Ted Lasso” isn’t TV’s first ‘nice comedy’. Recently, “Schitt’s Creek” and its huge success paved the way to a new era in being nice on TV. And yet, I would claim, being nice is just not good television. The Roses started as being spoiled, egocentric, arrogant, and sometimes plain obnoxious until they completed their transformation into what we might call ‘nice’. It was the journey that made “Schitt’s Creek” engaging to watch, not the fact that being nice eventually prevailed.

Being nice all the time, being nice as a way of life, is boring. There’s a reason that “The Simpsons” isn’t called “The Flanders”, or that “The Cleveland Show” got canceled while “Family Guy” is still going strong. (Sidenote: Why does television think that every overly nice man should have an accompanying mustache? Maybe it’s…

Elad Simchayoff

I love writing about what I love. Israeli/British. Father, husband, dog person. Support me by joining Medium via this link: https://eladsi.medium.com/membership