11 Heartfelt Ways To Spark Your Inner Child
The inner child is who you were before you were told who you should be
There are many times throughout our lives where we’re told to abandon ourselves. This happens a lot throughout our childhood. As a result, you may have abandoned your own inner child.
This shows up as codependency, addiction, guilt, and shame. Your inner child is your connection to wisdom, guidance, safety, and freedom.
Here are 11 ways to connect with your inner child:
1. Set the intention
If you’re a yogi/yogini you know all about setting intentions. But did you know intention’s medical meaning is the healing process of a wound?
Inner child wounds cut deep. Unhealed inner child wounds cry out for attention. Your intention for this day is simply to begin the process of healing.
Process:
- Sit for a moment in a comfortable seat
-Take 3 deep breaths
-Say out loud or to yourself, I intend to begin my healing process
2. Show Up
Showing up for your inner child when you’re tired. Showing up even though it hurts to acknowledge your pain. Commitment isn’t always easy. The most common way people think about commitment is marriage. It’s not all about the wedding day when you’re feeling high on life and in love.
It’s the 100th Wednesday night that your significant other left dishes in the sink and you’ve cooked dinner and cleaned every night this month. It’s showing up with love at those times. This is what your inner child craves.
Process:
-Self-care when things get hard. What does self-care look like to you? Do one of those things today.
-Self-care ideas include a bath, massage, coloring, reading, pizza night, Netflix, and exercise.
3. Play
The best way to get in touch with your inner child is to play. Adults lose touch with fun believing everything they need to do in life should be productive. Let me tell you, you’re not a factory!
You do not have to be productive all day!
-Stressed?
-Play!
-Anxious?
-Play!
-Unmotivated?
-Play!
Process: The challenge here is remembering how to play. Get some toy cars or barbies. Get a box and make some forts or mini tiny homes. Be creative.
Remember playing is really about just being! Not producing!
4. Pause
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
To pause when you’re feeling triggered is a powerful tool in your healing journey. You have an immense power to choose for yourself once you decide what you want. This moment is made for the pause so you can choose from a place of power over a place of reactivity.
Process: If you become triggered by something today see if you can simply pause. Without judging, figuring out why, or trying to decide what to do next.
Simply pause in the feeling.
5. Silence
In the silence I found stillness and in that stillness, my soul spoke.
What is your soul saying to you? It’s been calling to you for a long time. You’ve been hesitant to answer. The work isn’t going to be easy. But then again easy doesn’t always last. And you want something that will last. The inner child is your gateway to your soul’s wisdom. Sitting in silence is one of the most useful tools in hearing your inner child’s voice. That voice will lead you to joy and inner fulfillment in your life.
Process: Sit in total silence. No phone, tv, tablet, or smartwatches allowed.
6. Compassionate Grace
Give yourself some damn grace! Give yourself grace even when you think you don’t deserve it. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to have it all together. You can throw a temper tantrum from time to time. And you still deserve grace. Your inner child has always deserved grace. You never needed to earn it. Grace is the non-judging room you allow yourself when you’re off.
Process: When you’re having one of those off moments, give yourself room to be exactly as you are. Practice good enough.
7. Authenticity
This word is played out in the “New Age” movement. Being authentic is more than a catchy phrase. Authenticity is moving the way your soul desires.
It’s saying I will be who I am. In a world that demands we be productive members of society, authenticity is being who you are regardless of what anyone thinks. There are no shoulds in life.
Process: “If it’s not a hell yes, it's a hell no”.
Being authentic is moving in a way that is true to who you are. Practice saying yes to something that is an enthusiastic YES!
8. Laughter
That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in a long time. I remember the day my mom looked at me and said that I was 14 and my best friend had just completed suicide. She was right. I hadn’t smiled much that year. Hell, I hardly came out of my bedroom. But friends, smiles are medicine. Smiles bring healing. Your job no matter what you’re growing through is to smile.
Process: Watch a comedy. Hang out with someone who makes you giggle. Go play on a swing set.
9. Boundaries
I place boundaries between who I am and who you’re telling me to be.
Boundaries are a place of growth. Boundaries create a place for us to be authentic in our lives. Boundaries assist you in knowing where you end and another begins.
Process: Say No to things you want to say no to. Say yes only to what you want to say yes to.
10. Don’t Settle
You are a divine being capable of moving in the direction of your dreams.
Were you told to settle? In direct and indirect ways children are told to settle for less than their hearts desires. Know that you’re a divine being. Within you is a source of power. Your inner child can lead you to the dreams you were told weren’t meant for you.
Process: Practice going with the flow for a day. Do exactly what you want how you want when you want.
Practice this without regard for what anyone else in your life is calling on you to do or be. Flex your independent nature.
11. Your Body Knows the Way
The difference between knowing it intellectually and knowing it in your body is the difference between lipsynching and actually singing.
You can’t trick your body. Your body has its own consciousness. It knows when something’s up. Your body has messages stored even from infancy. Children experience their entire world through the body. Adults do too, but many have forgotten.
Process: Do some yoga, tai chi, kickboxing, or any other body-centered practice. Don’t focus so much on doing it “right”. Focus instead on what it feels like.
Estonia aka Toni is a Somatic Yoga Therapist committed to supporting people to heal generational and familial trauma through body-based therapies. She loves drinking homemade tea lattes. She’s obsessed with social justice, body-consciousness, and spirituality. Find her on IG the_trauma_doula
