How Do You Answer This Question?

The notion of becoming someone to fit in

Photo by Sam Lion from Pexels

Who are you?

Three words. One sentence. Sounds simple but how can a question so simple be so difficult to answer?

Defining yourself is rather complex. When humans are faced with this question, most of them pause and wonder. Others shoot out an answer with confidence.

Knowing who you are is not to be confused with how you describe yourself by giving adjectives such as tall or short, blonde or brunette, ambitious, and so on. Some might mention their profession or their job, what roles they play in society — a dad, a doctor, a priest, etc.

The answer you give usually varies depending on who’s in front of you.

That’s because we are scared of being judged, of feeling inferior or ashamed. The natural reaction is to get defensive to protect yourself from getting hurt.

But if the answer changes according to the narrative you want people to hear, how can this make sense?

There is only one truth and that truth lies within you.

From a very young age, we are asked who we want to become when we grow up. This kind of question implies that you are not anyone yet and that you need to become someone to feel valued depending on your profession, your status, or your label.

The child feels the pressure to provide an answer which will make their parents and teachers proud, and like so, the idea of ‘becoming someone’ to feel validated in society, is born.

There are traditions that encourage the notion of ‘becoming someone’ such as ‘The Quccija’ — a cultural family tradition.

Family and friends gather together on the child’s first birthday in celebration, and multiple objects are placed on the floor for the child to pick up. Each object has a symbolic meaning which reflects what the child’s career is going to be depending on the first object the child touches.

Obviously, this tradition has no relevance, and a lot of kids end up following the very same path as their parents.

What most people seem to be missing is that by giving yourself a label, you are limiting yourself.

You make yourself smaller, as explained by Eckhart Tolle in his writings.

If we are strongly identified with labels and with the boxes we put ourselves in, we fail to realize who we truly are.

And that is consciousness itself!