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I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, But I’m Coming
The Universe will take me wherever I need to go
I have no idea where I’m going.
I know what I want, what I value, and what I’m willing to put on the line for the things that matter to me. I know the kind of life I want to create, and I know how to ground myself when obstacles arise.
But as for the precise details of how it will all unfold or when I’ll reach my destination? I haven’t the faintest clue.
This is surreal because I used to be the person with a well-thought-out plan for everything. Every goal had a deadline, every milestone a carefully calculated step. The future, in my mind, was a predictable sequence of events, neatly arranged and ready to unfold as per my design.
But the more I clung to my visions of how things should unfold, the more the Universe seemed to revel in proving me wrong. It was as if life had its own script, one that delighted in throwing unexpected plot twists my way.
So, I decided to surrender.
My past self’s inclination towards responsibility and meticulous planning wasn’t just a personality trait — it was a coping mechanism.
Growing up, my life was marked by constant conflict at home. Everything was unstable and chaotic, and I felt like I was tiptoeing through a minefield of emotions, never knowing when the next explosion would occur.
This instability seeped into every aspect of my existence, creating a constant sense of unease. As a child and teenager, I felt hopeless. So, as I transitioned into adulthood, I clung to the idea that having firm control over every aspect of my life would act as a safeguard against the uncertainties that had defined my earlier years. It was a subconscious response to the chaos I had experienced in childhood and adolescence, a way of asserting authority over a world that had often felt uncontrollable.
However, as time went by, I realized this coping mechanism was not serving me anymore.
What had once been a reliable strategy to navigate the uncertainties of life had transformed into a source of extreme anxiety. I’d catch myself in moments of hyper-vigilance, constantly assessing and reassessing my…
