I’m Going Through My 2nd Dark Night of The Soul

It’s extremely painful, but I know I needed this

Photo by Patrick Boucher on Unsplash

Three years ago, I went through my first dark night of the soul.

At the time, I had no idea what it was. All I knew was that my sense of self was suddenly changing, like a ship adrift in a sea of uncertainty. It was as if life had hit the reset button, and I was left grappling with questions that had no easy answers.

All of a sudden, I didn’t resonate with most of my friendships. I was becoming aware of some family dynamics that were not healthy. And, most importantly, I was becoming aware of my own dysfunctional patterns and protection mechanisms.

It took me more than a year to recover, but I was very proud of myself when I finally did.

Little did I know I’d have to embark on that journey again.

What’s The Dark Night of The Soul?

The dark night of the soul refers to a profound and painful period of spiritual or personal crisis, characterized by feelings of emptiness, despair, and a sense of being disconnected from our usual sense of purpose, meaning, or connection to the divine (whatever that means to you).

The term was first coined in a poem by Saint John of the Cross, a 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet. This phenomenon, within the Buddhist tradition, is sometimes referred to as “falling into the pit of the void.”

The dark night is often described as a deep inner struggle, a sense of spiritual desolation, or a feeling of being lost in the darkness. In this process, that old part of us starts to fall apart. We start questioning things — our relationships, our goals, even what we believed before. It’s like life is saying, “You’ve outgrown this.”

It can feel unsettling, but within this confusion lies a sense of liberation. The discomfort we’re experiencing is actually a sign that something profound is happening within us — a signal of growth.

Think of a seed breaking open to push forth a new sprout. The shell cracks, and in that moment of vulnerability, growth begins. Our own discomfort is like that crack — a necessary opening that allows us to expand beyond our previous limitations.