Signs You are Spiritually Bypassing and How to Avoid Doing it
When you use spirituality to avoid dealing with your issues — you could be doing it and not even know it
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Spiritual bypassing is when you use spiritual practices as a way to avoid facing and dealing with unresolved emotional pain. It is using language and practices to avoid doing the healing work — the work that is sometimes very uncomfortable and painful.
Spiritual bypassing is a form of escapism. It is rejecting, not accepting, and not wanting to see the things you need to heal and work on within you. It is hard to notice you are bypassing.
When we are spiritual, aren’t we supposed to awaken to the pain and trauma we have to heal? Spiritual bypassing is a very tempting path until you figure out it's not working very well.
Here’s an example of spiritual bypassing:
When you go to a yoga class or a spiritual circle and the host says “no negative vibes, no bad moods, only happy and positive vibes here, all positive moods, unity, love, and light, etc.
In an energy perspective, spiritual bypassing is a form of fragmentation or dissociation because whenever you are unwilling to see a part of you, you fragment inside. And when this happens, you almost become like two separate people. There is a part of you you're conscious of and another part of you you’re unconscious of.
Why bypassing is a problem
Every time you bypass, you feed your shadow. Your shadow is all the parts of you you don't see, accept, and acknowledge. When you bypass, you put aside a piece of you and you feed it to your shadow.
The shadow then becomes bigger and bigger — and the bigger it becomes, the less you are able to ascend energetically because the shadow weighs you down. Parts of you want to ascend while the other part, the shadow, won't let you.
Let's use a boat for an example:
When a sailor throws the anchor into the water and it attaches itself to the bottom of the ocean, that boat isn't going anywhere. He can start the engine and do whatever he wants, but the boat remains where it is.
He either breaks the engine or he breaks the boat when he pulls against the anchor that is weighted down at the bottom of the ocean. The only way for the boat to move is when he removes the anchor from the bottom of the ocean.
That is what happens with bypassing. It doesn't work. It creates big problems in your life because the shadow becomes bigger and as it becomes bigger; it acts out more in your life and as it acts out more in your life, it only creates more pain and trauma.
Why we bypass
We all bypass. For the majority of us, when we awaken especially in the beginning stages, we do it because everybody else is doing it.
Spiritual bypassing is a faulty defense mechanism. It is the brain's bad attempt at protecting you from pain. We bypass when we believe we don't have the capacity or tools to face the unresolved issues that are coming up.
Another reason we bypass is the belief that some emotions are bad. We believe some emotions are superior while others are inferior. This happens when we focus only on positive things while we ignore the negative.
There is no such thing as good or bad emotions.
Signs of spiritual bypassing
1. Polarizing into the light
This is another way of saying false positivity — a common sign of spiritual bypassing. That’s when you cling to love and light, rainbows and unicorns, no bad vibes. You polarize into the light and you completely ignore everything that is dark, bad, and negative. You ignore and push it away.
When you do this you leave a huge part of yourself behind. You are not just light and not just dark. You are everything. You are light and you are dark. Your shadow is part of who you are.
2. Using sensitivity as an excuse
This is also common. As empaths or highly sensitive person (HSP), we start to use our sensitivities as an excuse to not face the things we need to face because they are uncomfortable. We tell ourselves we can't face them because we are just too sensitive.
Dealing with pain and trauma is particularly difficult for an empath. When this happens, the ego at the sight of pain says “oh no this energy is too harsh and I do not want to deal with it”.
Being an empath is not the same as fragility. Sensitive and fragile are not synonyms.
3. Diminishing your humanness
When you start to believe that certain emotions and experiences are acceptable while others are unacceptable, you diminish your humanness. You start to believe certain experiences are inferior while others are superior.
The moment you say jealousy, envy, and anger are inferior, you diminish your humanness because negative emotions like anger, regret, shame are all human qualities as much as positive emotions like joy, love, compassion, and gratitude.
All emotions are part of what it is to be human.
4. Projecting your triggers
Projecting your triggers is when something triggers you from the outside environment and you immediately point fingers instead of addressing the wound within you. You project your triggers the moment you point fingers and say this person triggered me because they are not “woke” or spiritual.
When you do this, you fail to work on the trigger and when you don't work on the trigger, the problem remains in you and not the person who triggered you. When you avoid focusing on the wounds within you and you focus on the trigger, you are spiritually bypassing.
5. Wearing masks
This has nothing to do with the coronavirus but this is especially common on social media where everybody pretends their life is all sunshine. This happens when the image you present to the outside world is different from what's going on within.
When a person is totally falling apart on the inside but then they take a selfie smiling and make a beautiful post on social media pulling into love and light without addressing the real issue, they are spiritually bypassing.
When you wear masks, you delay your healing and you delay the integration of your shadow.
How to avoid bypassing
1. Do shadow work
When you bypass, you feed the shadow and you make it bigger. Every time you bypass, you push away parts of you into the shadow and the unconscious. The bigger you make the shadow, the more stuff you have to heal, the denser your energy, and the more you anchor and hold yourself down.
Shadow work is crucial. Make friends with the shadow. Shine a light onto the dark or bring it into the light.
2. Reset your beliefs
Reset your beliefs that you are too sensitive and can't face those difficult emotions. You have to reset your belief that some emotions are better or superior to others.
When you have these beliefs, you will keep bypassing over and over again. You can face anything because you've done it before. There is nothing you can’t face.
3. Come into your power
This is extremely important for empaths. If sensitives do not come into their power, they will constantly feel like victims of a harsh world and they will isolate themselves their whole lives.
You have to come into your power because you are an eternal soul and you can face anything life throws at you. Know your power and when you step into your power you become aware of who you are.
4. Embrace your humanity
Accepting your humanity is crucial because there's no such thing as good or bad emotions. All emotions are human emotions. You have to accept your humanity and everything that comes with being human.
5. Work with triggers
Triggers are your best friends. When you get good at working with triggers, you are not going to bypass anymore. You can’t force the outside world to no longer trigger you. That is never going to happen.
When you are triggered understand you have wounds within you that need to be healed. You are not triggered until something needs healing. Triggers point you to wounds that need your attention.
Final thoughts
Spiritual bypassing is a common thing and most of us have done it because you weren’t aware of it. But the journey is all about destruction and integration. Facing our fears and ultimately integrating the shadow is part of the journey. Dealing with our pain and our traumas is the only way we can see things clearly and live a happy and healthy, fulfilling life.
Now I really want to hear from you. Does any of this resonate? Do you realize you've been bypassing on your spiritual journey? Let me know your thought in the comments below.
