Why God Isn’t Answering Your Prayers

Short answer? Because you’re probably asking for stupid stuff

Longer answer: Look, God’s pretty smart, don’t you think? Creator of life? Omniscient brain?

My belief, as people who follow me here know, is that the universe is an actual extension of God. He’s not sitting in the sky separate and apart from his creation. The creation is a part of the creator.

In this light, it stands to reason that not only is God pretty smart, but God probably has a fairly good handle on what the universe, and all the creatures therein, are up to.

Consequently, God knows what those creatures need. And the universe will provide if God deems it appropriate. But you’re praying to God as though God is clueless.

“Hey, God,” you’re saying, “You might not be aware of this, but I need a little help with the rent money this month. Would you mind very much?”

Really? You’ve bought into the idea (from scripture) that God knows every hair on your head, but somehow you think God needs a reminder about the rent payment?

Well, He’s busy, you reckon, so it wouldn’t hurt just to stop by, say hello, and make a small request, just in case he somehow hasn’t grasped the urgency, right?

See how silly that sounds?

So, what’s the proper approach?

Back to Gethsemane

Well, it might begin with recognizing that we are not just creations of God, but expressions of the God within. And, as active pieces of the universe, there is some sort of purpose for why we’re here. Individually. So maybe we should start with trying to figure out what that purpose is.

Why does God want you here? What do you bring to the table?

John F. Kennedy once urged Americans to ask not what their country could do for them, but what they could do for their country. Maybe this is how we should approach God.

There are a lot of prayers in the Bible but I think the most significant is Jesus’s prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Not my will, but thine be done.” It might be that this prayer is the prayer for all of us.

What happens if we pray this? From God’s perspective, probably not much. God’s not likely to rearrange the universe because someone finally decided they wanted to act in alignment with God. But from the perspective of the person making the prayer? Everything changes.

Asking God for advice on how to live isn’t likely to be answered by a conclusive, direct, unambiguous message. You’re not going to receive a text with a smiley emoticon telling you what to do. (I happen to believe that God hates texting, but that’s another essay.) Instead, through the act of sincere prayer, you’re going to open your mind to the answers that are already there. The ones that have always been there.

A powerful shift

A perspective shift from asking for things to asking how to proceed best with the life God has granted you is an extraordinarily powerful one. Asking not what the universe can do for you, but what you can do for the universe — remembering, in other words, who’s working through whom — can be life-altering.

Nothing happens overnight (you’re probably going to have to make other arrangements to pay this month’s rent), but if you keep your mind open and do your best to play the part in the universe you were meant to play, the universe will take care of you. You’ll be helped. Doors will open that you didn’t know were there. Not because God suddenly created them for you, but because you can now see them.

In summary, stop asking for stupid stuff. God doesn’t need your suggestions, advice, or requests. Don’t pray to be heard; pray to understand. Open your mind to whom God wants you to be, then watch the pieces fall in place.

I’m a writer, researcher, eternally curious ruminator, and author of the recently released So Who is God, Anyway?: An Unorthodox Theory for Doubters, Skeptics, and Recovering Fundamentalists (Five Boroughs, May, 2024). More than anything, I’m just glad to be here.