Happy Freakin Jersday

It’s time to Staaahhhhp what you’re doing and pull out your leopard print outfits and tanning lotion, because apparently, we’re all going back to 2009. That’s right bitches, unlike that Stage 5 clinger that you thought you had gotten rid of, Jersey Shore is baaaaaaack. TONIGHT.

Somehow MTV convinced seven of the Jersey Shore cast members to return for Jersey Shore Family Reunion, which basically means that even though our favourite guidos and guidettes all have families of their own and therefore should be older and wiser… they aren’t. This will just be a season of complete and utter douchebaggery taken to the extreme, which will probably ruin not only their relationships, but their livers as well. Of course, I’ll be tuning in!!!

While some people may be thinking that this show coming back is like the devil reincarnated, Jersey Shore will always be remembered as a shining star in the mid- 2000s. Ahead of tonight’s premiere of Jersey Shore Family Reunion, let’s take a trip down blackout lane and remember the craziest shit that went down over in Seaside Heights and beyond.

When Snooki got arrested for public intoxication and yelled “I’m a fucking good person” after running on the beach screaming, “Where’s the beach?”

Same Snooks, same.

When Snooki and JWoww wrote the now infamous anonymous note to Sammi about Ron cheating on her with MULTIPLE girls at a club in Miami.

Apparently, there’s a beer-pong table that has this note written on it being sold in stores. I need one of those tables more than Pauly-D needs an STI test.

When Snooki got in a car accident and then got arrested in Italy for being the worst fucking driver to ever exist.

When Ron cleared all of Sammi’s shit out of their bedroom after they fought about Ron pulling yet another asshole move.

Even though Jersey Shore was clusterfuck of a show, it gave us all a glimpse of what an unhealthy relationship looks like. Thanks, MTV!

When Mike claimed him and Snooki hooked up.

Literally, Mike was always stirring shit up in the house and he def won the award for Most Hated Reality TV Star (can we even call him a star??) when he told Jionni he hooked up with Snooki.

When Mike got into a fight….with the wall.

When Snooki got punched.

In the series’ fourth episode LIKE EVER, American’s most lovable meatball Snooki got punched in the face by a teacher from New York. So reassuring to see that we entrust our children’s sensitive development with guys like this!!!! While no woman deserves to be punched by a dude in a bar, Snooki continued to kill it for the rest of Season 1, and every season after.

All the miscellaneous fights they got into.

Seriously, what is more violent? A Liam Neeson movie, or Jersey Shore?

Cheers to Jersey Shore, because whether you like it not, MTV has decided that it’s time to get crazy, get wild, and get loud yet again. Fingers crossed that the moments mentioned don’t even compare to what will be going down on this season. In preparation for tonight’s episode, I hope you remember to cross three very important things off your to-do list: hit the Gym, get a Tan, and do your Laundry.

Cabs are here!