made me think about the Asian Americans’ presence on the internet, how Asian cultures has been portrayed on the internet and media, and how the Asian American artists and creative minds’ been participating in recent art and media world.
5 Recent arts & culture news Asian Americans Should Pay Attention to
Joanne Yj Kim
12

Review of Joanne Yj Kim, “5 Recent arts & culture news Asian Americans Should Pay Attention to”

Thoroughness and comprehension: ✔️

Stretching of creative muscles: ➖

Using the right tools for the job: ✔️

Hey Joanne, I felt the understanding but it didn’t dig deep. I need to be convinced this is something I should be paying attention to.

“…made me think about the Asian Americans’ presence on the internet, how Asian cultures has been portrayed on the internet and media, and how the Asian American artists and creative minds’ been participating in recent art and media world.”

This set up made me believe we were digging into this narrative. I want to know why these stories contribute to the larger narrative of Asian and Asian American cultures shaping the art, media, and cultural conversations through the lens of the Internet. It’s a strong argument and I can tell you are knowledgeable about it.

Lastly, the opening paragraph is slightly clunky with many repeating phrases and passive language. I’d experiment different ways to tighten your argument. A personal anecdote would be a great opening line that pulls me into your writing.